Lately I’ve found how important it is for the body to maintain a healthy pH in the bloodstream. When your body’s pH is balanced, you literally increase your health, energy and vitality. I found this handy chart from the Southwest Institute of Healing Arts via my friend Maya Paul, Wellness and Nutrition Coach.

The best fuel for your body is a custom mix of foods, with more alkaline than acid. Our body ends up storing the acidic waste it can’t get rid of and eventually the build up can be so great that cells deteriorate, energy depletes and leaves the body prone to disease. The choices you make in what you eat will determine how much of this acidic waste gets stored in your body. The more alkaline your food choices are the less of this waste will be accumulated in your body, tipping the balance in the favor of good health.

The old adage “you are what you eat” is absolutely true. By limiting your intake of acidic foods and increasing your intake of alkaline food you will increase your stamina, endurance and the overall performance of your body.

I’ve been drinking a glass of water with lemon juice every morning when I wake up to give it a boost of alkaline to start the day. What foods from this chart have you tried, and what do you notice happens in your body after you eat it?

The post What to Eat to Maintain a Healthy pH appeared first on Zen Friend.

It’s my first day of vacation in Roatan, Honduras and it’s raining. This is not what I envisioned two weeks ago when I booked my trip from my cold apartment in San Francisco.

I’m eating fresh red snapper overlooking the Caribbean Sea and guests around me are complaining.

I want more food; this isn’t enough!
There was no visibility during my scuba dive.
This weather sucks.

I have two choices: join them or ignore them. I choose to ignore them and accept what is. Here’s how.

1. Breathe. Conscious breathing allows you to become aware of what’s happening in the present moment.

2. Acknowledge any negative thoughts and emotions. It’s important to acknowledge your feelings of disappointment, frustration or anger. You can’t force feelings away, so “invite them in for tea,” as Eckhart Tolle says. This simple act of acknowledgement reduces the power of negative emotions over you.

3. Realize the only thing you can control is yourself. It’s easy to let other people influence you, either positively or negatively. You get to choose how others’ words and actions affect your thoughts and actions moving forward. This realization puts you back in control.

4. Practice gratitude. Once you’ve allowed some space for your negative emotions, find something to be grateful for. Become aware of how much you have and the beauty of life that surrounds you. Gratitude shifts your focus from what your life lacks to the abundance that is already present.

Accepting and being at peace with what is isn’t easy, but it’s a necessary part of happiness. It creates a space for healing. Honoring every thought and emotion allows you to rest and renew. From that relaxed and receptive space, you gain the clarity and strength needed to create a blueprint for a happy, healthy life.

Hopefully the weather is better tomorrow. Meanwhile, I am grateful for delicious fresh fish, a cabana on a stormy beach and a wi-fi connection so I can share this story with you.

The post How to Accept “What Is” in 4 Simple Steps appeared first on Zen Friend.

Last week I ran a meditation workshop for the marketing team of a well-known Bay Area biotechnology company. The group is so dedicated and passionate about what they do that they hardly have any physical energy or mental capacity left at the end of the day for their families, let alone themselves. There is no doubt that this is an all-too-common problem in our demanding workplaces today.

The post 3-Minute Seated Meditation Podcast appeared first on Zen Friend.

It’s an interesting thing. The more days pass and life goes on, the more I realize that we shouldn’t have to do anything alone. In fact, we literally need each other as support in all aspects of our lives. Sometimes our inner critic pops in and makes us feel like we have to do things alone or risk becoming vulnerable. But that’s just it — we are all in this crazy thing called life together.

I believe that the more we can think about wellness in terms of “we” then we can find our individual place in life. We’re all here together, each playing our unique part. Coming together is wellness. Doing it on our own sometimes can drive us to illness. What do you think?

The post When “I” is Replaced by “We” even “Illness” Becomes “Wellness” appeared first on Zen Friend.

As a wellness coach and digital media marketing consultant, I’ve discovered there is a lot of confusion around the difference between coaching, consulting and counseling. Here is a breakdown that will hopefully give some insight.

Coaching

Coaching is focused on goal setting, outcome creation and personal change management. The coach – client relationship is equal and not hierarchal like we find in consulting and counseling. This means the coach holds the belief that the client is already creative, resourceful and whole. The coach recognizes that clients are experts in their own lives, and the coach’s job is to listen well and act as a supportive guide in drilling down to what it is the client really wants. By asking powerful questions, the coach shines a flashlight so-to-speak in areas of the client’s life as possibilities of areas to explore. Great coaches succeed in helping clients discover personal “aha” moments and assist in helping them create SMART action steps using the Kaizen approach (small steps toward great change) in order to reach their goals.

In general, the assumption with coaching is that individuals or teams are capable of generating their own solutions, with the coach supplying supportive, discovery-based approaches and frameworks.

Consulting

Consultants, on the other hand, are retained by individuals or organizations for the purpose of accessing specialized expertise that the client is unaware of and therefore pays to learn. While consulting approaches vary widely, there is often an assumption that the consultant diagnoses problems then prescribes and implements solutions. Therefore, unlike coaching, the consulting-client relationship is hierarchical.

Counseling

Coaching can be distinguished from counseling or therapy in a number of ways. First, coaching is a profession that supports personal and professional growth and development based on individual-initiated change in pursuit of specific actionable outcomes. These outcomes are linked to personal or professional success. Coaching is forward moving and future focused. Therapy, on the other hand, deals with healing pain, dysfunction and conflict within an individual or a relationship between two or more individuals. The focus is often on resolving difficulties arising from the past which hamper an individual’s emotional functioning in the present, improving overall psychological functioning, and dealing with present life and work circumstances in more emotionally healthy ways.

Therapy outcomes often include improved emotional states. While positive feelings and emotions may be a natural outcome of coaching, the primary focus is on creating actionable strategies for achieving specific goals in one’s work or personal life. The emphasis in a coaching relationship is on action, accountability and follow through.

Life as a Coach and Consultant

An interesting thing has occurred in my business The Zen Girl as both a coach and consultant. I notice that while consulting, it is incredibly powerful and helpful to the client when I remain aware of when to switch over and wear my coaching hat. For example, let’s say I am sharing ideas and giving advice on branding and website development as a consultant. Then my client says, “Gee, I am not sure that’s what I really want” or “I am fearful if I do that then I won’t be successful.” That’s when I pause, switch hats and ask a powerful coaching question, such as “Ok, in that case, what is it that you really want?” or “What about that idea scares you?”

During those moments, it is not my job to tell the client what they want or that they shouldn’t be scared. Rather, it’s to give them an open, safe ground to explore their concerns and come to their own conclusions, with me solely acting as a gentle guide along the way until we reach an appropriate space and time to move forward.

What has your experience been with coaches, consultants and/or counseling? How does this breakdown resonate for you?

The post Coaching, Consulting, Counseling: What is the Difference? appeared first on Zen Friend.

 Attending an educational conference over a long weekend can be equally tiring and inspiring. Last month, I attended the International Enneagram Conference in Long Beach, CA. One of the most impactful workshop experiences explained the Brahma Viharas, also known as the Four Divine Emotions. The Danish facilitator Fleming Christiansen, founder of Think About It, applied this model to effective leadership.

Brahma Viharas are the meditative states, thoughts, and actions cultivated in Buddhist meditation. Essentially, they are the positive emotions and that are productive and helpful to anyone, irrelevant to religious affiliation. The idea is those who cultivate the brahma viharas are guaranteed happiness. Those who further cultivate equanimity may reach insightful states and wisdom of enlightenment experiences.

The Four Divine Emotions

1. Loving-kindness (Pali: Metta)
2. Compassion (Pali: Karuna)
3. Joy with others (Pali: Mudita)
4. Equanimity (Pali: Upekkha)

Loving-kindness is a soft, affection and care for others and yourself. It is not a hard, romantic type of love and not a love that includes extreme attachment or controlling feelings.

Compassion is like an open heart that cares for everyone. It includes empathy, being able to see the other person’s position and caring for and about them.

Joy with others, sometimes is called sympathetic joy or appreciative joy. It is the ability to be happy when you see others happy. Their joy becomes your joy as you welcome less suffering and happiness of others.

Equanimity is the balanced state of mind. It is the middle way state of mind that is neither clinging nor pushing away.

The job of leaders to create more leaders. As Christiansen explained, “If you don’t have a dream, you have to be a resource for those who do.” By remaining aware and practicing these essential qualities of emotional leadership, you have the ability to facilitate a living and working atmosphere that is positive, authentic and enjoyable. All you have to do is remain present, aware and simply take each moment as it comes. No doubt, this cultivates authentic connection between people and ultimately a healthy environment.

What emotional leadership qualities do you experience? Which ones inspire you?

The post The Importance of Emotional Leadership appeared first on Zen Friend.

As an entrepreneur, I am consistently asking myself “What is the highest and best use of my time right now?” Unfortunately, updating my own blog or hiring help wasn’t the answer at the time because my workload was piling up to the point of near paralysis.

I knew for about 6 weeks that I needed to hire a marketing coordinator/assistant. There was this feeling of clarity, like I knew the right person was out there just waiting for me, and I was waiting for her. In fact, during busy times I visualized this new support person, complete with a sense of her energy and qualities I knew I needed. But of course, setting aside time to even write a job description let alone go through the interviewing process felt like another laborious and daunting task. But client deadlines were looming and one day I woke up and instinctually knew it was the day to find help — like NOW.

A couple of hours of researching and writing led me to post this job description and very quickly finding the ideal fit for the position. So, how do you write a job opening the zen way?

1. Determine values. Sharing common values with a new hire is a crucial component to your team’s success. Write down your personal and company values and make sure you communicate them clearly in the job posting.

2. Determine needs vs. wants. In many cases, the ideal candidate would have every attribute you are looking for. But chances are this isn’t the case. Therefore, explore within what attributes and experience in a potential candidate are absolute needs and what qualities are more”bonus” material. Your needs list will be shorter than your wants list, and in this way you can cut out a large portion of applicants based on your needs.

3. Be transparent. Let potential candidates know exactly what you are looking for so you attract the right people to your job opening. By being open and authentic, you will attract quality candidates who resonate with a similar message to yours.

4. Explain your management style, company culture and career direction. Let’s face it — your new employee is interviewing you as much as you are interviewing him or her. So, be clear about the day-to-day experience and where it may or will eventually lead. Also, explain your management style as your particular way will click with certain people.

5. Include clear application directions with consequences. If a potential candidate can’t follow clear directions completely in an application, do you think he or she will be detail-oriented in your business? Probably not. If a candidate did not follow my instructions exactly I didn’t take a single moment to look further. This sounds harsh, however being detail-oriented and following through are critical success factors in any business.

By thinking outside of the box and being authentic in writing your job post, your chances of hiring the right person are much higher. And, you will save an incredible amount of time to boot. And now, life with my new hire is fantastic! I am happier, calmer, more grounded…and have time to write this blog post.

What do you think? Have I missed anything you would like to add?

The Zen Girl’s Sample Job Description

The post How to Write a Job Description with Zen appeared first on Zen Friend.

By Jennie Dozier, Marketing Coordinator for the Zen Girl

Hello Zen Friends!

I would like to introduce myself to the community.  My name is Jennie and I am the new Marketing Coordinator for The Zen Girl.  Stacy and I thought it would be nice to share the story of how we met each other and shed light on our mission towards bringing wellness into the world.  It was only a few weeks ago that I was dreaming about a job that would bring together both my background in marketing with my passion for healthy living.  Shortly after that, I met Stacy. Today, I find myself the newest member of the The Zen Girl team!

Not long ago I left my job as the Marketing Manager for Temple at the Zen Compound, America’s first sustainable music venue located in the heart of San Francisco.  It was here where I gained most of my skills in online marketing and business development. Being a leader in this industry allowed me the opportunity to start a marketing campaign from the ground up. I successfully created and managed all the digital media including Facebook and Twitter with a focus on weekly email campaigns.  I built the email list from zero to 100,000 in four years, in addition to managing over 40 online accounts for the multiple businesses within The Zen Compound which included not only a music venue, but also a restaurant, a record label, an online television and radio station.

I worked within the music industry for several years, but was not feeling fulfilled. Something was missing.  I began to think that I wanted to steer my career in a new direction.  If I ever had a chance to get out of the city, I thought, “now is the time!”  I saw this change as an opportunity to travel, so I headed to Bali, Indonesia in search of something different.  It was on this trip where I discovered new inspiration and a newfound passion into the world of wellness.

I wanted to travel with a purpose so I joined the program WWOOF, which provides volunteers with first-hand experience in organic farming and new methods of sustainable development. The place I chose to volunteer was called Jiwa Damai “Soul at Peace,” a hands-on, socially responsible organic garden and yoga retreat center. I had the pleasure of volunteering my time in the permaculture garden and experienced working side by side with the local Balinese team. I also helped lead daily yoga classes to the guests staying at the retreat center.  It was on this trip where my whole vision became clear and it was obvious the direction I wanted to go next in my life.

When I returned to the city, I set out in search of a job that would combine my background in marketing with my newfound passion for wellness, and that’s what led me to The Zen Girl.  I enjoy working with eco-minded organizations and individuals who have green, organic, sustainable or healthy practices they want to communicate on and offline.  Stacy, known as The Zen Girl, shares many of the same interests in life and has several years of experience in the marketing field providing consulting to businesses within the spa and wellness industries. She too has traveled the world and found pleasure in exploring other cultures, practicing yoga, and living a healthy lifestyle. The mission of The Zen Girl is to help individuals and businesses achieve their goals, whether it is creating a wellness program or a new marketing strategy. I am so happy we found each other and I look forward to contributing important skills that I’ve acquired through past marketing projects that lead consciously by example.

This year I plan on getting my yoga certification and I hope to one day open my own yoga and wellness retreat center. Working with The Zen Girl will be a great experience for exploring the wellness industry and creating new relationships with healthy people.  Having the opportunity to travel, or retreat to a place where you can connect with your Self, is a gift everyone should experience.  I recommend it to anyone who is looking to learn ways to create a healthier lifestyle. I am grateful how the events of my life have unfolded and I look forward to working with you!

Please visit The Zen Girl for more info. Follow me on Twitter!

The post When Passion, Intent and Wellness Align appeared first on Zen Friend.

Imagine yourself on a sandy beach on a warm, tropical island.  The sound of lapping waves roar gently in the distance.  A warm, gentle breeze lightly grazes your skin as you take notice of bright yellow birds in flight across the cloud speckled blue sky.  You lay down, close your eyes, take a deep breath and drink in the pure ocean air.  Now, how do you feel?  Perhaps a little lighter and more peaceful?

Quiet Your Mind With Visualization
It’s amazing how a few moments of visualization can instantly calm our minds.  The subconscious is unable to differentiate between fantasy and reality; it believes whatever pictures we draw on the canvas of our minds.  We can literally trick our subconscious into believing a figment of our imagination and elicit specific emotions and feelings about something that actually isn’t true.

The mind is much like a muscle in that, in order to relax, it needs to regularly release what it is holding.  By visualizing calming pictures, you are allowing your mind to release. It is like sending a message to your brain that when you close your eyes and begin this process it is time for letting go of anything that it has been mentally squeezing, such as worries and fears.  Visualizations can truly become your happy place.

Achieve Your Goals With Visualization
Purposeful imagination of pictures and scenarios to ground ourselves is just one great reason to use the power of visualization.  Another way visualization works is to manifest your desires into reality.  The ability to form a clear mental picture of what we want to be true in our lives is one of the most powerful abilities that a human being has.   There are three mental laws described below that support the idea of visualization to meet your goals. 

The Law of Belief
Brian Tracy, a renown author on personal achievement, says that whatever you believe, with feeling, becomes your reality.   You are the total result of all your beliefs in your life up until this moment.  Even if you have beliefs that are inconsistent with reality, the degree to which you believe it to be true, it is true for you.  This is so powerful in our lives that even if you believe and visualize something based on false information, it has an impact on the effects of our life either positive or negative.  If we have self-limiting beliefs regardless of reality, the degree to which we believe them they become true for us.

Napoleon Hill said, “Whatever you can conceive and believe, you can achieve.”  Life does not give us the power to imagine something without also giving us the power to make it true.  However, this also does not mean your desires come without lessons to learn, obstacles to overcome or hardships to endure.  You must be willing to pay the price to make your dreams come true.  Visualization of your goals is a vital step in bringing them into reality.

The Law of Expectation
Exhaustive research has been done in this area that supports the notion that whatever you expect, with confidence, becomes your own self-fulfilling prophecy.  People who enjoy high levels of accomplishments are continually talking to themselves as if they expect things to turn out well.  The reverse is also true.  People who have unhappy lives are thinking about and visualizing the future in a negative way.

The Law of Attraction
There are hundreds of books written on this subject.  Basically, it says that each human being is a living magnet – that we radiate thought energy and attract into our lives the people and circumstances that resonate with our dominant thoughts and mental pictures.  If we wish to attract different people and circumstances into our life, we must change our thoughts and visualizations.  This happens by law, not by chance.  We can improve the quality of our lives by manufacturing beliefs and expectations we wish to be true.

How to Visualize Your Goals
So, how do you start this process?  The key is to picture something you want in detail, exactly as you want it in your mind.   You can do this exercise for a variety of short or long-term life situations, such as throwing a party, having a job interview, before a conversation with a loved one or making your desired dollar amount per year.  Find a quiet place, close your eyes and relax for a few minutes.  Picture yourself in your mind’s eye with the ideal outcome of your goal.  For example, if you are going to give a presentation, imagine yourself standing at the front of the room and the audience clapping, rising to give you a standing ovation with smiles wide across their faces.  Your subconscious will adhere to that clear mental picture you imprinted in your mind and go to work giving you the words, posture, intonation and gestures you need to elicit a strong positive response from the crowd.

As Albert Einstein said, “Your imagination is your preview of life’s coming attractions.”  The good news is the conscious mind can only hold one thought at a time, and you get to choose those thoughts.  Use this to your advantage and visualize only what you want to feel, be, have or do.  Whether you use the power of visualization to calm your mind or bring your goals into reality, with regular practice you will inevitably gravitate towards your dominant thoughts and feel the subsequent emotions whether positive or negative.  What are you going to visualize today?  It’s entirely up to you.

The post The Power of Visualization appeared first on Zen Friend.

One of the most difficult things about yoga is getting to the mat.  Excuses such as “There’s not enough time” or “I’m too tired” run rampant in our society of go-go-go.  The irony is it’s the very activity that will energize your body, calm your thoughts and bring about a general sense of well-being.

But that’s not all.  Yoga has dozens of benefits that positively impact our mind and body on psychological, physiological and chemical levels.  Here are the top 5 reasons to practice yoga.

1.  It improves strength, flexibility and posture. A series of yoga poses, known as asanas, work by gently engaging and stretching your muscles.  This releases the lactic acid that builds up with everyday use causing stiffness, tension, pain, and fatigue.  By focusing on the feeling in our muscles and breathing deeply into a stretch, our minds relax and help pull the body further into a pose.  Over time, muscles become more smooth, firm and elongated.  With this increased strength and flexibility comes better posture.  Most standing and sitting poses develop core strength and with a stronger core, you’re more likely to sit and stand “tall.”  This important shift in body language increases self-confidence and opens the heart. 

2.  It prevents sickness. You may notice that you get far fewer illnesses while engaging in a regular yoga practice.  That’s because yoga massages and nourishes every single cell in the body.  By gently stretching muscles and joints as well as massaging the various internal and external organs, yoga ensures the optimum blood supply and balance of energy flow.  In effect, yoga improves circulation, lowers blood pressure, stimulates the abdominal organs, conditions the lungs, optimizes the gastrointestinal tract, strengthens the lymphatic system and massages the glandular system of the body, sweeping the toxins away.  Your immune system becomes stronger and your health improves.

3.  It boosts your energy, focus and concentration. Many areas of our lives suck the energy we’ve so thoughtfully contained in the form of rest.  By being consciously aware and present during this activity, yoga serves as a way to plug into a power source that energizes and brightens your being.  The attention required in yoga to maintain the structured breathing in conjunction with yoga poses increases the ability to keep a sharp focus on tasks.  Therefore, you can get a lot more done in a shorter period of time outside of the yoga studio.

4.  It puts you in a better mood. Yoga includes a lot of stretching, but that’s not all. Yoga also focuses on meditation which in turn calms thoughts, relieves stress and lightens heavy feelings.  Research shows that engaging in yoga postures has a positive impact on mood and anxiety on a chemical level inside the brain that helps induce relaxation and sleep.  Deep breathing and relaxation releases oxcytocin, otherwise known as “the cuddle hormone” which is responsible for stimulating many positive social interactions.  In other words, yoga can make you happy.

5.  It harmonizes your body and mind. In Sanskrit, yoga literally means “to join together.” Sometimes we forget that our mind and body are connected.   Yoga allows us to get more intimate with ourselves and see emotions more clearly.  Emotions function in us as the “juice” that makes us feel more alive and connects us to other people in the world.  If we only exist in our minds without feeling in our body, our lives feel lonely and flat.  With a consistent practice, you will find that your overall balance of body and mind will improve both inside and outside of yoga class.

Sounds great, doesn’t it?  Interestingly, yoga has a snowball effect:  the more you practice, the more layers of benefits you will receive.  It gives us permission to take a break from our stressful and sedentary lives and invite a sensation of inner peace and groundedness instead.  No matter what your level of yoga, you will most likely see and feel these changes in a very short period of time.

So, find your yoga mat, unroll it, sit down and just breathe for a few moments.  Congratulate yourself for getting there.  The hardest part is done.

The post Top 5 Reasons to Practice Yoga appeared first on Zen Friend.

There are times I appreciate People Magazine. In the March 2012 Issue, they list what’s in and what’s out – the latest on their radar. Gluxe and Oblication relate to wellness — and you can bust out a few new words to your friends.

GLUXE

“Eco-Friendly Goes Upscale” with sustainable and fashionable jewelry. ”Stylish green products have been around for a while, but these pieces are moving to the next level in terms of design and quality. They even have their own category now: Gluxe! –Danny Seo, designer, Danny Seo Home

OBLICATION

Combining work with vacation is one of the fantastic benefits of working as a entrepreneur, and more and more people are trending in this direction. I’ll save my pitch for the perks for another article, but what I like is this savvy way of thinking and it’s a win-win for all. Find ways to maximize your time, money and fun experiences.

“Mixing business and leisure turns an obligation into an Oblication!” –James Lohan, hotel expert and founder of travel concierge site MrandMrsSmith.com

Now you might be wondering what’s out: Interrupting to text and feathers in your hair. Good to know.

The post What’s in: “Gluxe” and “Oblication” appeared first on Zen Friend.

It’s January so you can still ride on the coattails of New Year’s Resolutions if yours dropped off. Even if you’re acing your goals, anytime is a good time to create a vision board to manifest the things you want to bring into your life.

The year 2012 marks a serious turning point in my life. The role of being a lover/wife for 10 years is in the past.  So now who am I?  It’s a challenging yet beautiful process of self-discovery. That was the motivation for my vision board.

Research shows that the power of visualization is very real and helps manifest things in our lives faster that without the practice.  A vision board is a powerful tool not only for yourself, but for couples, business teams and coaching sessions as well.

How to Create a Vision Board

1. Stock up on supplies…

• Magazines that have words and images of things you dream of/want to attract into your life
• Markers
• Scissors
• Glue stick
• Poster board

2. Set aside 1-2 hours to sift through images and words that call to you.

3. Cut, arrange and glue!

Hang it somewhere you will see it often. Over time, notice what seems to “just show up” in your world. Or does it?

The post How to Create a Vision Board appeared first on Zen Friend.

Well, I’ve been writing this blog for over a year now. Mostly I’ve been reading, learning and sharing health and wellness information through my lens. I’ve attracted thousands of readers, yet rarely did I get personal about my own health and wellness journey along the way.

It’s unexplainable except to say that my gut told me tonight it’s time to share some lessons learned from of my personal experiences in 2011: the most challenging year of my 32 years of life thus far.

Before I get into much detail (and in the tune of sharing short “nuggets” of information rather than essays), I’d like to share this with my Zen Friends.

Don’t be so critical!  In a study of people recently separated after an average of 13 years of marriage, those who gave themselves a break, emotionally speaking, recovered faster than those who listened to a harsher inner voice.  Personality didn’t drive how people reacted (good news, since we can’t easily change qualities like optimism, say researchers).  What heals a broken heart and likely helps you recover from other setbacks, such as a layoff, is self-compassion – recognizing that you’re not perfect.  This perspective can be learned,” says lead author David Sbarra, Ph.D, of the University of Arizona, who recommends mindfulness meditation.

I suppose that might give you a hint as to one of the things that happened last year. And I am here, alive, today to tell you that self-compassion was indeed one of my greatest healing tools. It took time to set new neural pathways (and the process was often dark and painful), yet in this New Year I am beginning to reap the rewards.

Are you compassionate with yourself?  As always, your comments are welcome.

The post It’s 2012 and It’s Time to Get Personal appeared first on Zen Friend.

Happy 2012!

For each of us, 2011 represented a variety experiences and ways of being.  Some things we like about ourselves and our lifestyle, but typically there is something we want to improve upon.  So, we look to the next year as a fresh start, a time to bring in a new habit pattern and make it stick.  Sometimes it does but often it doesn’t.  Visit a gym the first week in January, then again in April.  You’ll find in January it’s packed but after a few months pass, invariably those New Year’s Resolutions about going to the gym fade away and life goes back to the way it was last year.  Why is that?

The Power of Affirmations

I use affirmations instead of resolutions because they work.  You may be wondering, what exactly is an affirmation? It’s a phrase written in the positive present tense combined with visualization as if you already had what you want.  For example, “I am confident” or “I am healthy” or “I am a non-smoker” are wonderful affirmations because they are written as an “I” statement in a positive, present tense as if they were already true.  Even though these things may not be actually what you feel, upon hearing these words your subconscious mind (which is very literal) cannot distinguish between what’s true and false.  The opposite is also the case.  For example, if you are repeating negative thoughts in your mind “This is so difficult” or “I can’t do it” or “I’m not good enough” or “I am fat,” your subconscious mind will go to work to bring about whatever it is that you say to yourself, whether positive or negative, true or untrue.

Why Resolutions May Not Be Effective

On the other hand, resolutions are often a phrase such as “I want to lose more weight” without being specific about how much weight, or details about how it’s going to happen. Often we say our resolutions over the course of a week around the turn of the year, then the resolution ceases and we go back to our original habit patterns.  Furthermore, when you say to yourself “I want” something, your subconscious mind considers it as only a wish and does not have the same effect that an affirmation does.

Write Down Your Affirmations for 2012

So, my challenge to you is to think about your New Year’s Resolution in the form ongoing positive affirmations throughout the year.  For example, if your New Year’s Resolution is to lose weight, create some positive affirmations that support weight loss.  If you want to lose 20 pounds and you now weigh 175 pounds, you could affirm “I weigh 155 pounds.”  It’s even more beneficial if you supplement it with affirmations such as “I enjoy eating healthy foods” or “I can sense when I am full and I stop eating” or “I enjoy walking two miles three times per week”  That way, your subconscious goes to work bringing about motivations for these to be true in your life, sometimes in ways you never thought of.  In addition, try to visualize the positive thoughts as you think about and write them down as if it’s already happening, and believe that it is true.  You will be surprised how quickly you bring about true change in your life using the power of affirmations.  And, the more you write it down, think about and visualize your desires, the faster it will bring about change.  You can have dozens of affirmations, short or long-term.  Make one of your affirmations to write affirmations daily in a journal.  This will bring about true, lasting change in your life.

As Napoleon Hill once said, “We become what think about.”  Remember that your conscious mind can only hold one thought at a time, whether it is positive or negative.  You get to make the choice what you think about.  Because whatever you believe, with feeling, becomes your reality.  Now is the perfect time to start.

The post New Years Affirmations are Effective for Lasting Change appeared first on Zen Friend.

What are you grateful for?

Thanksgiving makes us remember why it’s important to be thankful. And we know that if we spend just a few moments per day of paying attention to something that we are grateful for in our lives, it will improve our overall happiness and wellbeing. Even Time Magazine, The Wall Street Journal and The New York Times published articles about it recently.

Today I saw my 93-year-old grandmother, Jane. I took a tissue and wiped her mouth clean. “Thanksgiving, Grandma. That’s why we’re here.” It was hard to understand her words but warmth and love was palpable from her heart. Dad and I each held one of her curled hands and sat together, simply sharing the space. On Day 1, I am grateful to have this time with a special woman in my life whose final days are drawing near.

Often, we focus on what we don’t have.  What would happen if we focused on what we do?

There are 30 days until Christmas and I invite you to join me on a 30 Day Gratitude Challenge. All you have to do is consciously express gratitude every day until December 25. It could be a Facebook post, a comment to your partner, a #ThankToday tweet or a scribble in your notebook. It takes only small steps to make great changes in our lives.

Community Rocks. Here’s How to Participate in Social Media. 

Twitter: #ThankToday
Zen Friend Facebook Wall

This is also an informal experiment in positive psychology in social media. At the end, I would like to interview 2 – 3 individuals about your experience. Please contact me if you’d like to participate. 

With gratitude,

@TheZenGirl

The post 30 Day Gratitude Challenge #ThankToday appeared first on Zen Friend.

Are you at a crossroads in your life?  Do you feel stuck and don’t know where to go next?

In my recent work with coaching clients, I’ve discovered that almost everyone is in a period of awakening and transition. This is not only true with clients, but family and friends alike seem to be in a process of re-evaluating their lives – where they are now and where they want to go.  This motivation to look at ourselves and what we really want represents growth in new directions that lead to greater happiness and fulfillment.

As I was leafing through an old college journal, I came across this list of 25 questions to help you find your life’s purpose by Lance Beggs. It’s been a great tool for my clients, and so I share it here in hopes that it helps you, too.

25 Questions to Help You Find Your Life’s Purpose

1. Who am I?
2. What is the most important thing in my life?
3. What do I love to do, more than anything else?
4. If I only had six months left to live, what would I like to achieve?
5. What would I like to leave the world, as my legacy?
6. What do I still want to learn?
7. What has been the greatest challenge that I have overcome so far in life? Could I help others overcome the same challenge?
8. Who are the people I most admire and why?
9. How would I define their life’s purpose?
10. What qualities do these people possess that I’d also like to be known for?
11. What activities do I most enjoy?
12. What would I like to do, if only other people didn’t think it was silly?
13. Where in the world would I most like to live and who would I live there with?
14. Who would I most like to work with?
15. What would my perfect day be like?
16. What special gift do I have that I could give to the world?
17. What makes me cry with joy?
18. What is something that scares me a bit, but would be really exciting if I did it?
19. What does my heart say I am to do with my life?
20. What have I done in my life that I am really proud of?
21. What am I doing when I suddenly realize time has flown by and all of my focus has been on that single task?
22. Who in history would I most love to be and why?
23. What do I most regret not doing so far in my life?
24. At the end of my life, what would I most regret not having done?
25. What is my life’s purpose?

Ponder these questions for a while. Pick out one that  you can really relate to and ask yourself over and over, until you have an answer. Then take action. It is possible to live a life of purpose, passion and success!

The post 25 Questions to Help You Find Your Life’s Purpose appeared first on Zen Friend.

What was I thinking?  I could have done that so much better. What’s wrong with me? I’m just going to fail again. I am not good enough.

I can’t imagine many things I would like to say SHUT UP to, but the inner critic falls on that short list. This all-too-familiar voice pops up inside our heads to put us down for not living up to certain standards. It’s like some uninvited inner cop who is there just to tell us we are doing something wrong. But are we really?  I don’t think so. Nonetheless, these voices are powerful and only do more harm than good.

By listening to our inner critic, we are restricted to limited possibilities for ourselves. So why do we do it?  In short, it’s an unconscious mechanism we’ve developed (and dare I say reinforced) over the course of our lives that keep us stuck in old habit patterns. But the good news is we are in charge of what we think about and say to ourselves. So, here are some ways to tell your inner critic to shut up.

1. Recognize and become aware. First things first: if you are not conscious of your inner critic, it will unconsciously run your life. By merely bringing attention to this negative voice, your awareness will allow you separate your true self from the false voice. Don’t argue with your inner critic, just listen and be aware.

2. Breathe. As soon as you notice your inner critic, just take a moment to breathe.  Your breath reconnects your mind and body to provide space for the present moment. And when we are present, we hear the inner critic’s voice but don’t give it any energy.  Then, the “all-powerful” voice then just becomes another aspect of the moment.

3. Replace the negative thought with a healing attitude.  When we are present, we are able to consciously plant new thoughts and new neural pathways into our minds that over time will free ourselves from our inner critic. For example, Maybe I don’t have to be the best. Maybe people will accept me for exactly as I am. Maybe there is nothing wrong with me. Maybe I can trust people. Maybe this will work out fine. Maybe what I have is already enough. Maybe I can make a difference.

4. Remember and practice.  The more we are present, the more we will recognize the irrelevance of these voices and successfully resist giving them energy.  Eventually, they will lose their power and we can regain the space and quiet we need to be receptive to other, more life-enhancing guidance within us.

So, view your life with kindsight. Stop beating yourself up with things from the past. Instead of slapping your forehead and asking “What was I thinking?” breathe and ask yourself the kinder question “What am I learning?”

Source and Credit: Riso-Hudson Inner Critic Workshop, Enneagram Advanced Training Program, October 2011.

The post How to Tell Your Inner Critic to Shut Up appeared first on Zen Friend.

“A goal properly set is halfway reached.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

The ability to set goals and make plans for their accomplishment is the master skill of success. It is the single most important skill that you can learn and perfect. Goal setting will do more to help you achieve the things you want in life than will anything else you’ve been exposed to. Becoming an expert at goal setting and goal achieving is something that you absolutely must do if you wish to maximize your potential.

Here are five tips on how to create effective action steps in order to reach your goals.

The post 5 Tips on How to Create SMART Action Steps appeared first on Zen Friend.

Have you ever had the feeling that your thoughts and surroundings take control over you?  Sometimes when we are busy and life is moving quicker than we can keep up with, it is challenging to get grounded and bring ourselves back into the present moment.  After all, “the now” is all we really have.  With practices such as yoga, meditation and rock climbing in my life, I am becoming more and more aware of the importance of getting grounded.  Here are 5 ways I use to get grounded.

1.  Stop and Observe. There is no argument that our mind and body are connected.  Tune into your body at different times throughout the day and simply take notice of what is going on inside, without judgment or trying to “find” a way to change your current state of being.  Just notice your thoughts and feelings and accept them for what they are.

2.  Take a Few Deep Breaths and Visualize. After you notice that perhaps your mind is racing or you feel anxious, simply take a couple of deep breaths, filling and emptying your lungs completely.  Close your eyes if that feels good.  Continue to notice your mind/body sensations and visualize yourself as calmer and more grounded.

3.  Walk on the Ground Outside. Many of us spend our time inside and/or on the upper floor of a building.  For example, my apartment in San Francisco is on the 2nd floor and if I don’t consciously walk downstairs and physically connect with the Earth, sometimes it’s hard for me to get grounded.  So, when I have rampant thoughts or a feeling of being unsettled, I take a walk outside in Golden Gate Park and feel the Earth beneath my feet. Instant grounding.

4. Get in Water. The negative ions present in H20 increase the flow of oxygen to our brain resulting in stress-relief, higher alertness and more mental energy. So, jump in the pool, swim in the ocean or take a relaxing bath.  It’s almost impossible not to feel more grounded when you connect your body with water.

5.  Practice Yoga. The act of practicing yoga allows us to become more grounded.  Try a few sun salutations that connect us to the sky, then fold in half and place your hands on the floor, imagining yourself connected to the Earth.  Visualize these opposites as you close your eyes and practice.  Through yoga asanas, or poses, we instantly become connected to our bodies.  You don’t need to necessarily practice for an hour to feel these effects; try it for 3 minutes and see if you don’t feel more grounded.

6.  Write Affirmations. The daily practice of writing affirmations, especially in the morning, imprints into our subconscious what we want to manifest into our life.  For example, I write affirmations as I drink my cappuccino most mornings.  Usually I write somewhere between 10 – 20 positive “I” statements for the day, and one of the mainstays is “I am grounded.”  By writing this positive thought daily into my journal, I find during the remainder of the day I am more grounded than when I don’t write my affirmations.

The benefits of feeling grounded are enormous.  I find that I tend to feel calmer and more centered, act in a proactive rather than a reactive fashion throughout my day, and generally have an overall sense of well-being.  Life inevitably throws curve balls our way that will throw us off-balance, but if we can be self-aware enough to remember to stop, notice, take a few deep breaths, and feel our feet on the ground – in just 30 seconds it is possible to feel more grounded and at peace about what is.

What about you?  What do you do to become more grounded?

The post 6 Ways to Get Grounded appeared first on Zen Friend.

Argh, to do lists. Is it possible that they can actually be fun?

Every day, there are a series of “A” priority tasks I need to accomplish in order to make a living. Some I am aware of when I make my daily to do list, and other unpredictable items come across my plate that I need to make a priority.

Then, there are a series of secondary priorities, or “B” items that sit just there. And so it goes.

This process caused me to be reactive instead of proactive.  Since I’ve been studying and embodying the Wellness Inventory, I’ve learned about the power of the Kaizen Model, Japanese for ”improvement” or “change for the better.” It refers to philosophy or practices that focus upon taking incremental, small steps toward continuous improvement.

It made me think about there are things on my to do list that I want to make a priority, but I never seem to get there because all the “A” priorities take over and I’m left feeling frustrated sometimes at the end of the day.

So, I created a daily to do list that that include things that are important to me but become “B” priorities.  Some of these things are actually what I love doing, and chores that when that when I remember, I am grateful because each small step leads me toward a greater goal of accomplishing what’s important to me.

Example of @TheZenGirl‘s Fun To Do List

• Deep breathe
• Stretch
• Eat a healthy, whole-balanced diet of delicious food throughout the day
• Floss (ahem yes, I brush my teeth, but I never forget so it doesn’t go on this list)
• Visualize and write affirmations
• Take short mini-breaks throughout the work day
• Meditate
• Listen to my body
• Trust my intuition
• Speak my truth

So, by changing my perspective and being committed to spending time every day on these otherwise “B” priorities, my to do list actually became fun and empowering!

Now, if you were to make a daily to do list that is actually fun, what would you write?

The post My Daily To Do List is Actually Fun. Here’s How. appeared first on Zen Friend.

Research shows that a positive outlook helps us to live longer, healthier and more successfully.  So, how can we achieve this?

According to wellness guru Bobbie Burdett, the most important wellness skill is the ability to recognize when our attitudinal focus is unhealthy and then to consciously shift it to one that is more life-enhancing.  We know from personal growth experts such as Napoleon Hill that thoughts are things and we become what we think about.  Therefore, we have the choice to bring awareness to the thoughts and beliefs that cause our reality.

Learning Mode
In learning mode, we are curious, open to what is, as it is, and we are able to relate to the person or situation at hand. We are in what is known as “beginner’s mind.” We feel spacious, expansive, interested and flexible. Positive emotions of empathy, compassion, forgiveness, gratitude, joy and playfulness arise. We’re able to be in the present. We are able to think laterally (brainstorm) and creatively look at many possible solutions to problems and then make the best choice from many options. Furthermore, we are able to investigate our stressful thoughts in pursuit of peace, understanding, and being in the world more effectively.

Protecting Mode
In protecting mode, we are defensive and judgmental. We’re attached to our thoughts that only our perspective is correct. We’re invested in controlling the situation and feel a sense of contraction, which may often make things far worse and repel others. Negative emotions of fear, anger, anxiety and shame permeate our being. Our bodies feel heavy and tight and we’re limited in our thinking. Our discourse and thoughts tend to run in repetitive circles that only make us more stressed and alienate others. Our effectiveness is hampered, perhaps to the point that we are our own worst enemies.

Application of Learning and Protecting Modes in Life
Day to day, we live our lives on a learning/protecting continuum—dancing from learning to protecting, protecting to learning in myriad ways—each mode containing the seed of the other.  Like most things in wellness, it’s a process of many degrees. We can be mostly in learning mode, until we uncover that little edge of protecting that is holding us back from a greater degree of freedom, peace, and creativity. As we become more familiar with the terrain, we are aware that learning mode just feels better. In time we become motivated to spend more time there.

Practice and Tweak
With practice and clear intention, we become aware of it just as we start to slide into protecting mode and are able to shift to learning mode. Over and over, practicing with small steps, insight by insight, throughout our daily lives, we learn and form the learning habit.  Recently, exciting studies in neuroscience prove we literally create new neural maps in our brains that, with practice, become well-traveled “information superhighways” when we need them most. It is then that we are able to surprise ourselves by staying in learning mode in a situation where before we surely would have slid into protecting mode and made everything much worse. Awareness is key!

How does learning and protecting mode affect you in your life?

Source and Citation: Bobbie Burdett, Director of Training for Health World Online.

Resources:

The Wellness Inventory, a holistic assessment and life-balance program designed to help you gain personal insight into your state of physical, emotional, and spiritual wellness.

The Sedona Method, an elegant system that teaches simple yet powerful methods for releasing negative thoughts and feelings.

The Institute of HearthMath teaches you how to use your heart energy, your breath and the power of gratitude and appreciation to bring your mind and body into a peaceful coherence.

Byron Katie teaches you to ask four simple questions about thoughts and beliefs that cause you stress, which, when explored, bring about profound changes in your life.

The post Wellness Concept Series Part 1: Learning vs. Protecting Mode appeared first on Zen Friend.

“Only the person who risks is truly free.” ~ Anonymous

Our mind-body connection is more powerful that we realize. Yesterday I saw proof during a relaxing afternoon lounging in the summer sun in Dolores Park, San Francisco.  Two pairs of freestyle acroyogis twisted, spun and danced with one another as hundreds of onlookers whooped and applauded this incredible manifestation of two minds and bodies as one.

Discovered in San Francisco in 2003, AcroYoga blends the spiritual wisdom of yoga, the loving kindness of Thai massage and the dynamic power of acrobatics. These three ancient lineages form this unique and powerful practice that cultivates trust, connection and playfulness between partners.

Acroyoga is reported to be a pleasurable, reverent synthesis that participants find very empowering. It is based on the belief that when you align your body and mind with your breath you find your true divine nature. Through the practice of AcroYoga, you experience a deepening trust in yourself as well as others, and come to realize that by working in partnership, you are able manifest more than you ever could alone.  This is a pretty remarkable concept.

Often, we think of ourselves as who we are and what we do rather than what we could be. It’s easy to ignore possibilities, but in turn that narrows our experiences.  In this case, I am inspired to give Acroyoga a try.

What do you think of Acroyoga?

The post What is Acroyoga? An Inspiring Dual Mind-Body Experience appeared first on Zen Friend.

Looking to the future for happiness or living on past glories is a sure set-up for disappointment. Ultimately, we have no assurance of anything beyond this present moment. There really is no future or past, just a continuous progression of “now” moments.

The question then becomes: What am I to do in the “now” in order to experience meaning? The secret of happiness shared by great mystics throughout the ages is to do just what you are doing, but do it with awareness. Be just who you are, but be it intensely. Look long and lovingly at what is real right now.

The meaning of here and now is beautifully illustrated by a Zen story of a monk who was being chased by two tigers. He came to the edge of a cliff. He looked back and the tigers were almost upon him. Noticing a vine leading over the cliff, he quickly crawled over the edge and began to let himself down by the vine. Then as he checked below, he saw two tigers waiting for him at the bottom of the cliff.

He looked up and observed that two mice were gnawing away at the vine. Just then, he saw a beautiful strawberry within arm’s reach. He picked it and enjoyed the best tasting strawberry in his whole life.  Although only minutes from death, the monk chose to enjoy the here and now.

Our life continually sends us “tigers” and it continually sends us “strawberries,” but do we let ourselves enjoy the strawberries? Or do we use our valuable consciousness worrying about the tigers?

Reprinted with permission from The Wellness Inventory, Commentary on the 11th Dimension of Wellness: Finding Meaning.

The post The True Gift of Being Present appeared first on Zen Friend.

Timing is a funny thing.  As I reached for my old  sketchbook last night, the first page I flipped to was this inspirational piece I wrote down during my college days at UC Santa Barbara.  The author is unknown, but the content is beautiful.  Enjoy.

Stepping up to Happiness

Everybody Knows ~
You cannot be all things to all people
You cannot do all things at once
You cannot do things equally well
You cannot do things better than everyone else
Your humanity is showing just like everyone else’s.

So ~
You must find who you are and be that
You must decide what comes first and do that
You must discover your strengths and use them
You must learn not to compete with others
Because no one else is in the contest of “being you.”

Then ~
You will have learned to accept your own uniqueness
You will have learned to set priorities and make decisions
You will have learned to live with your limitations
You will have learned to give yourself due respect
And you’ll be a most vital mortal.

Dare to Believe ~
You are a wonderful, unique person
You are a one-in-all-history event
That it’s more than a right; it’s a duty to be you
That life is not a problem to solve, but a gift
And you’ll be able to stay up on what got you down.

~ Author Unknown

I don’t know about you, but reading this again makes me smile.

The post How to Step Up To Happiness appeared first on Zen Friend.

Are you feeling stressed or burnt out?

Burnout is an all too familiar phenomenon in all jobs at all levels.  It happens when we are stuck in jobs we do not like, in jobs that fail to satisfy our needs or in jobs that demand more time and energy than is physically and emotionally possible to maintain our happiness quotient. Even the word “work” sounds  serious and difficult, and that’s often the crux of the problem.

We use work to give structure to our time and meaning to our lives, to earn a living, to express our talents, our dreams, our creativity and even perhaps to change ourselves and the world at large. As such it is both a necessary and desirable way to spend our time. But when it becomes hard and serious to the point of causing excessive stress or a sense of personal frustration or worthlessness, it undermines both our health and our happiness and leaves us feeling empty and unfulfilled.  It sucks, but it’s true.

Of course, you could make a drastic change and quit today, fly to a tropical beach somewhere and do nothing but sip a cocktail with a cute little umbrella in it.  But perhaps that’s not possible at the moment.  So in the meantime, it’s important to realize that you are the person who is responsible for your happiness and well being despite your feeling of burnout.  You can do something about it.

According to the Wellness Inventory, a holistic assessment and life-balance program, there are five ways to prevent burnout.

1.  Be Aware. Know that you are feeling burnt out. Simply acknowledge and accept that this is your reality.

2.  Self-care. Get plenty of good nutrition, exercise and create a supportive environment around you.

3.  Relax. Take time for regular deep relaxation and frequent mini-relaxations throughout the day. Mentally go to that tropical beach, meditate or listen to a piece of music to quiet your mind.

4.  Ask for What You Want. You may not know what you want, but perhaps you know what you don’t want.  Whatever the case, take a little time to drill down to what it is you really want and find ways to make it happen.  If you haven’t heard of the Japanese Kaizen Model for Continuous Improvement, consider its effectiveness.  In short, it means taking small steps in order to create big changes in your life.

5.  Take Time for Creativity.  Being creative is a wonderful way to relax and reduce stress.  Pull out the art supplies and draw with your kids, build a sandcastle on the beach or simply belt out your favorite song in the shower. Whatever it is that resonates for you, engage in an activity that allows your left brain to let go and your right brain to play.

What do you do to prevent burnout in your life?

Source: The Wellness Inventory

The post Five Ways to Prevent Work Burnout appeared first on Zen Friend.

If you are interested in yoga, there is absolutely no excuse why you shouldn’t give it a try.  Zero.  Allow me to explain.

Practicing yoga in San Francisco’s Castro District is great for people watching.  But that’s not what I am there for.  During class, I am typically so internally focused on my meditation, breath and asana movements that I don’t tend to notice others much.  However, our teacher periodically asks us at the beginning of class to acknowledge the other people in the room, our community that has come together to share our practice.  Today I made eye contact with a man I’ve seen before but hadn’t paid much attention.  For the sake of clarity, I’ll call him Bob.

Bob is probably in his mid 50s, super hairy and about 60 pounds overweight.  Today he happened to be practicing right behind me.  During downward dog, I looked back between my legs and saw Bob.  He was on all fours, staring down at the floor.  His body wouldn’t let him practice this relatively basic pose.  It broke my heart for a split second until I remembered that was his practice!  I could hear his soft breathing, still present, still on his mat as an active participant.  Bob was listening to his body, going as far as he could without pain, yet with calm focus and intention.

Bob comes to class twice a week.  He does the poses he can, and for the ones he can’t he takes a break in a position like child’s pose.  He breathes.  He meditates.  He shows up.  And he smiles.

This is a perfect case in point that yoga really is for every body.  Sure, not every body will be able to move and bend into full or even partial expression in every pose, but that’s not where the true benefit of yoga comes from.  The true benefit comes from showing up: using your breath, quieting your mind, and gently exploring the movements and limitations of your body.  It’s not a race and it’s not a competition.  It’s a mind-body practice that has more benefits than I can count.  And Bob gets it.

What is holding you back from trying yoga?

The post Proof Why Yoga Really is For Every Body appeared first on Zen Friend.

“Our greatest strength as a human race is the ability to acknowledge our differences, our biggest failure is our ability to embrace them.”
~ Judith Henderson

Why is that?

On a recent trip to Miami Beach to relax and celebrate my anniversary with the Zen Guy, we were mesmerized by people watching.  Tall, short, skinny, fat, black, white, loud, quiet, funny, serious, rude, kind, liberal, conservative, locals, tourists and everything in between.  On Day 1, I was in shock.  On Day 2, I was curious.  On Day 3, I decided to be myself. On Day 4, I was practicing yoga headstands on the beach.

It’s easy to compare ourselves to others and focus on what it is we lack in comparison.  “Oh she’s so skinny, I wish I was as thin as her.” It’s also easy to judge and criticize others for being deficient in some way that is not up to our standards.  “I can’t believe he just said that!”  But this attitude and way of thinking limits our growth. It boxes us in and shuts us down.

What we know (but often forget) is that differences are a beautiful thing: everyone has their own story, habits and reasons for looking, feeling and acting in a particular fashion.  It takes awareness and compassion to accept others for exactly as they are, whether you like or agree with them or not.  But first, it takes acceptance of ourselves as exactly who we are, even though we may feel like we’re not good enough sometimes.  After all, if everyone were the same the world would be a pretty boring place.

So, people watching is good for you if you make the conscious choice to view others through a lens of love and acceptance rather than criticism and judgment.  With an open, curious, “yes” attitude, we have the ability to celebrate people’s rainbow-colored differences, including our own.  And that leads to contentment, happiness and pure joy.

But don’t take my word for it.  Try it out for yourself and see.  I am curious to hear your thoughts.

The post Why People Watching is Good for You appeared first on Zen Friend.

“We teach often what we most need to learn.” ~ Richard Bach

Sometimes life has to smack us in the face in order to get us to listen. This is an unfortunate repercussion of not paying attention to something our body, mind or heart is trying to tell us.  It can bring us to total inability to function in a certain area of our lives.  That’s what happened to me, anyway.

A sinus infection hit me a few weeks ago and I thought, Huh, this is odd, I haven’t been sick in a long time. Because I am no stranger to this annoying bug from living in smoggy Southern California for years, I mindlessly fed myself antibiotics, a couple of Advil and kept plugging away with work and play, ignoring my body’s gentle call to take a time out and rest.  I was having so much fun, why would I ?  Rest is for the weak! I don’t need to rest! I still wonder where that judgmental voice came from, but alas, I marched along.

Then things got worse.  The medications weren’t helping and I was getting mad.  So, I went to acupuncture.  It didn’t help.  I took one 15-minute nap.  It didn’t help.  At this point, I was feeling so terrible I literally couldn’t focus or function.  With much-needed guidance from my friends and family, I finally gave myself permission to rest for three days without any work and little play.  It took this extreme circumstance for me get it: I was still sick because I was completely out of balance and ignoring my body’s cry to fully check out and rest.  It wasn’t until then (and another visit to the doctor to properly diagnose and medicate a viral infection, not a bacterial infection) that it dawned on me that even if I am experiencing joy, I need be proactive and take time out to completely rest in order to maintain balance.

The purpose of our existence and fulfillment comes from balancing our three centers: mind, heart and body.  For each of us, our “home base” tends to be one of the three, the center where we operate from most of the time.  Another is our “blind spot,” the area we tend to ignore.  In my case (as you can probably surmise by now), my blind spot is my body.  What’s interesting is that before this illness, I thought I was on point because I generally take good care of my body by eating nutritious foods and getting regular exercise.  But clearly that’s not enough.  The art of finding balance is to identify our blind spot (mind, body or heart) and make it a priority to nourish and pay attention to that part of ourselves before it hinders our ability to function in some way.

Too often, we live in the side effect of our imbalance.  If we can cultivate the part of ourselves that will remember, we will know what we need to do in order to regain equilibrium.  The trick is getting motivated to do it before life cuts you off at the knees and forces you to pay attention to your blind spot.  In my case, it wasn’t enough for someone to say, “Gee Stacy, you’ve been running around like a madwoman, why don’t you take a rest?” No way.  I was rolling along on auto-pilot mode, and didn’t even realize that I was out of balance.  I had to learn the hard way.

We’ve all been there – overdoing or underdoing it in one aspect or another of our lives.  The irony is every time we move toward alignment (in my case, resting my body), feelings of anger, resistance, shame or guilt often arise.  Our capacity to be present and listen to those feelings is what will bring about balance.  At first, it feels empty and threatening.  There’s so much to do!  I can’t just sit here and do nothing! But as we organically and gently let go of these fearful thoughts, a sensation of warmth and holding appears.  Be with it.  The longer you can be with the feeling of emptiness, the sooner it will fade away.

It seems obvious, but listen to your body, mind and heart when they speak to you.  I’m curious to learn about your experiences in the comments section below. Which area do you feel the strongest?  Which area is the weakest?  How do you find balance of the three centers in your life?

The post The Art of Finding Balance appeared first on Zen Friend.

I’m going to be honest.  In the 10 years I’ve been practicing yoga, I’ve never had the courage to try Bikram.  Why?  Simply put, the idea scared the heck out of me.

Fear #1: Practicing in 105 degree heat. Why would I want to sweat out a gallon of liquid from my pores? I understand the idea of cleansing and detox, but sweating buckets, huffing and puffing as I struggle through is going way past my limit.

Fear #2: Practicing in a stinky, uncomfortable space alongside 30 other sweaty bodies. Admittedly, this fear is based upon a story a friend told me: when she practiced Bikram yoga for the first time, there was a man next to her who farted a lot and his unkempt feet and dirty toenails were in her face (bless his poor heart).  Sorry for the dirty details, but that image in my mind was a huge turnoff.

Fear #3: It will hurt or I’ll pass out. Yoga should push me gently to the edge, but I want to remain comfortable and not in pain.  In my mind, I imagined Bikram would overwhelm my body with all the heat and movement and that my eyes would suddenly see black and I would pass out.

Now, I’ll be the first to tell you to not avoid something out of fear.  But here I was, scared for a decade even thinking about powering through an hour and half of repeating 26 hot yoga poses.  It took the rugged encouragement of another friend (who loves it) to convince me to try.  Her favorite Bikram studio, Fluid Yoga,  is only four blocks away from my house and offered a new student special.  Now what’s my excuse?  Begrudgingly and nervously, I drank as much water as possible the day before, the morning of and finally gave it a try.

I did not pass out.  It was sweaty, but not stinky.  And afterward I felt absolutely amazing, like I could do anything.  My husband (The Zen Dude) told me that my skin was glowing, like I had just had a facial.  It was true, I felt incredible.  But why?  No one had ever explained the benefits of Bikram to me, so I feel compelled to share my experience and observations in case you’re not trying it out of fear.

Pointers and “Ah Ha” Moments About Bikram Yoga

1.  The air is fresh. Instead of re-circulating the air like an airplane, fresh air is pumped into the room along with the heat (at least in this studio).  It was certainly hot, but not stinky. Oh, and the floor was antibacterial.  Bonus.

2.  It detoxes your skin. It’s an absolute must to hydrate as much as possible the day before, the morning of, during class and after class, and even the following day.  You will sweat like a pig from every single pore in your body.  However, now my skin feels soft and refreshed, like I had a delicious spa treatment.

3.  It pushes your comfort zone. I didn’t realize I had such a cozy yoga comfort zone until I tried this class.  With the combination of the heat and the asanas, there were times that I felt dizzy and light-headed.  Anytime that happened, I stopped to rest until the feeling passed and I caught my breath again. Just like with anything, listening to your body is key.  Because of the heat, I was able to stretch deeper than usual without pain.  I was a little sore the next day, but the good kind of sore.

4.  It’s cardiovascular exercise. I have bad knees so typical cardio outlets, such as running or aerobics, are not easy for me.  But in Bikram, my heart rate stayed way up without the impact or pressure on my joints.

5.  My mind was clear of thoughts. Because my mind and body were so intently focused on surviving together through this challenging experience, there was no room for wandering thoughts to float around in my head. The time flew by and I was in a meditative (albeit survival) state for the majority of the time.

So what did I learn from this experience?  The fact that I boxed myself in because of a fear and judgment about something I had never tried, and now I wonder what other things out there I shut out because of fear.  Often, we think of ourselves as who we are and what we do rather than what we could be.  It’s easy to ignore possibilities, but that narrows our experiences.

The moral of the story?  Try something new.  Do something you know you won’t excel at and do it for reasons that are bigger than your need to be the best.  I hope that my new found interest will help me expand my viewpoints, move more freely and provide something in my life that was missing around the perfect stillness in the midst of what seemed like chaos.  Give yourself chance to explore, be someone new and I have a feeling you will be both surprised and pleased with yourself.

The post Wow, Bikram Yoga Doesn’t Suck! My First Experience Exposed appeared first on Zen Friend.

What image comes to mind when you think of meditation?  Perhaps a gentle old man sitting quietly on an ancient Asian mountaintop?  Meditation practice originated centuries ago in the Far East but has become more mainstream in Western culture.  Today, millions of people all over the world practice meditation to relieve a variety of problems in their personal lives and promote a general sense of well-being.

Practicing meditation requires us to dip below our “surface” thoughts and into the realm of the subconscious. Meditation is focusing on the space between your thoughts.  Much like a computer that needs to be defragmented on a regular basis in order to run at its optimal level, meditation is a wonderful tool that gives us a chance to recalibrate our mind, body and spirit.  In effect, meditation helps us to realize our full potential and success as human beings.

There is no right or wrong way to meditate, but there are ways to meditate effectively.

1.  Open Your Mind
One of the most important steps to meditate effectively is to keep an open mind.  Every person is unique, and so is each meditation experience.  Try not to judge or criticize yourself and be open to whatever experience comes your way.  You might be pleasantly surprised.

2.  Set Aside a Quiet Time and Place
It is crucial to set aside a quiet time and place in preparation for meditation.  Schedule 20 – 30 minutes on your calendar and treat it like and important meeting you would not want to miss.  You can practice at home, parked in your car, in a meditation class or simply on a park bench.  One of the best times to meditate is first thing in the morning because this is when the subconscious mind is the most impressionable and you will most likely start your day with positive thoughts.  However, If you suffer from insomnia or thrive later in the day, an evening practice might be best for you.

3.  Sit in a Comfortable Position
Your body’s posture during meditation is also important. The ideal posture is a comfortable sitting position, legs crossed, with your spine straight and erect. If you are not able to cross your legs, simply sit in the most comfortable position that is true for your body on that day.  Be sure you can sit in that particular position for a long time period and try not to lay down, as it can be easy to fall asleep.

4.  Do a Short Breathing Exercise
Sometimes it may be effective to practice pranayama, or conscious breathing, for 5 minutes to calm your thoughts and prepare your mind and body for meditation.  One effective pranayama exercise is alternate nostril breathing.  Close one nostril with your fingers, exhale completely then inhale completely.  Close the other nostril and repeat.  Once you become comfortable, see if you can slow down your breathing, inhale for 5 counts and exhale for 10 counts.  This brings awareness and leads to a singular point of focus that is important as the next step in how to meditate effectively.

5.  Create a Point of Focus
Our minds are full of worries, fears and desires.  Meditation is not erasing your thoughts; rather it’s about objectively noticing the thoughts as they flash across the screen of your mind, kind of like puffy clouds that pass by on a sunny day.  Focus on your breath, an object like a candle flame, and/or a mantra.  A mantra is especially effective in replacing any thought that re-enters your mind and a gentle way to bring yourself back to that quiet space between thoughts.  When we practice meditation regularly using the same mantra, soon we train our mind to associate the word(s) with a calm meditative state. By extension, this makes our mantra a very powerful tool to deal with stressful situations in our life as a result of a regular meditation practice.

6.  Accept Yourself
It’s no secret that it’s not easy to meditate or more people would be doing it.  Like most things practice makes it easier, but our minds will inevitably wander.  Try not to be hard on yourself.  Simply accept it and return to your point of focus each time it happens and move on.

7.  Enjoy the Benefits of Meditation
Not only does meditation rejuvenate the body and promote inner peace, it also can be a source of inspiration.  Most humans use only a very small percentage of our brains. This approximate 5% is controlled by our physical selves and our ego. The remaining 95% of our intelligence resides in our subconscious mind, where the most powerful ideas and best solutions to our problems lie.  The power of our subconscious mind is one which many past leaders have tapped into, such as Thomas Edison, Buddha, Jesus, Confucius and Einstein, to name a few.

At first the benefits of meditation may seem small, but using these effective techniques on how to meditate are very powerful. Over time you might just feel like the peaceful, enlightened man (or woman) on the mountaintop.

The post How to Meditate Effectively appeared first on Zen Friend.

Food has many roles.  It’s a source of fuel, energy and nutrients.  It affects our body weight.  It alters our health and vital indicators, like cholesterol and blood pressure.  Food is social, food is emotional and it affects our health and well-being.  Just like we spring clean our homes, this fresh new season of renewal and regeneration is the perfect time to check in with our bodies and what we eat so we can thrive.

Nutrition as it applies to our daily lives means that we take in what we need to maintain our body’s healthy state.  But what is our responsibility in the nutrition game? Do we understand what our nutritional requirements are, how to fulfill those requirements, and how to look for real nutritional value in our foods? That knowledge comes by educating ourselves about what our individual needs are, the needs of our family, and then taking that information and applying it to the foods we buy, prepare and consume.

My friends and Certified Nutrition Practitioners Sarah Grossman and Tamara Green at The Living Kitchen Wellness Group educate and empower people to be healthy, happy and excited about eating good, nutritious food.  Just in time for spring, they have two upcoming programs that will give you the tools you need to transform your kitchen and meals so that you’ll have lasting effects for your life and your family.  It’s a great step towards a sustainable way of living in order to help you achieve your health goals.

30-Day Nutrition Challenge: April 17 – May 15, 2011
15% off discount offer code for Zen Friends: DNC006

14-Day Sugar Detox: April 10 – 24, 2011
15% off discount offer code for Zen Friends: SGR247

What I like about The Living Kitchen Wellness Group is that they help empower people to create wellness in their lives. Their classes, workshops, and counseling are all based on the concept “field to tummy,” connecting where our food comes from right down to how food impacts our health. They also teach classes that integrate gardening, cooking, and movement (dance and yoga) together from a nutrition perspective. The are an inspiration to me and to others to help our bodies feel like they are supposed to – amazing!

The post Spring is Here! What’s Up With Your Nutrition? appeared first on Zen Friend.

“Yoga is the fountain of youth.  You’re only as young as your spine is flexible.” –Bob Harper

Bob is on to something here.  In my last post 3 Common Misconceptions About Yoga, we discussed some reasons why people may not choose to practice yoga based on false notions.  As a follow up, it’s important to bring to light proven ways that yoga can be beneficial for your health at any age and at any level of practice: beginner, intermediate or advanced.

So, if you are wondering what yoga can do for you, here are 35 ways yoga facilitates better health, as both prevention and treatment, as supported by scientific evidence.

1. Relieves pain
2. Lowers need for medication
3. Promotes weight loss
4. Increases flexibility
5. Strengthens muscles
6. Releases unconscious muscular gripping
7. Improves balance
8. Improves posture
9. Improves immune function
10. Strengthens bones
11. Lowers blood sugar
12. Lowers blood pressure
13. Thins the blood
14. Improves lung function
15. Leads to slower and deeper breathing
16. Increases oxygenation of tissues
17. Improves joint health
18. Nourishes intervertebral disks in the spine
19. Improves return of venous blood, the veins that run from organs to the heart
20. Increases lymph circulation
21. Improves foot function
22. Improves proprioception (the ability to sense the position and location and orientation and movement of the body and its parts)
23. Conditions the cardiovascular system
24. Relaxes and improves the function of the nervous system
25. Improves brain function
26. Activates the left prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for positive emotions
27. Changes neurotransmitter levels
28. Lowers level of the stress hormone Cortisol
29. Improves levels of cholesterol and triglycerides (the good stuff)
30. Improves bowel function
31. Increases the control of bodily functions
32. Uses imagery to effect change in the body
33. Fosters healing relationships
34. Fosters spiritual growth
35. Encourages involvement in your own healing

As you can see, by practicing this ancient art we can increase the level of our body’s health and well-being.  Yoga truly is the proactive, mindful magic potion of the fountain of youth.

Source:  Yoga as Medicine: the Yogic Prescription for Health and Healing by Dr. Timothy McCall, M.D.

The post 35 Reasons Why Yoga is the Fountain of Youth appeared first on Zen Friend.

“Whether you are sick or weak, young, old or very old, you can succeed in yoga if you practice diligently.” – Svatmarama (Hatha Yoga Pradipika)

According to a study conducted by Yoga Journal, 9.4 million Americans don’t practice yoga but say that they will.  Another 18.3 million say they are “very interested” in practicing someday.  The health and wellness benefits of yoga are proven and enormous.  So, what is the blockage?  For every individual it may be different, but here are three common misconceptions about yoga:

1.  Yoga is only for the flexible and fit. Some people avoid yoga because they think it’s only for people who can bend like Gumby.  It’s easy to believe this impression when we see photos in magazines or attend a yoga class with experienced students. Interestingly enough, if you feel that you couldn’t possibly do yoga then yoga might be especially helpful for you.  Over time, you will become more flexible and fit.  Remember that every person who practices yoga had to start somewhere.  And chances are most of them were not especially flexible and fit in the beginning.  It’s a goal to work toward and comes from practice.

2.  Yoga is only for those in good health. Yoga has helped people with all kinds of physical, mental and emotional problems: old people, sick people, people with years of chronic disease, people in pain, people who were too depressed to get out of bed.  Yoga has helped cancer patients and people with heart disease.  It’s been used successfully on schizophrenics, on children with Down’s syndrome, cerebral palsy and autism.  Those who are bound to bed or wheelchairs can do modified yoga fit to their needs and abilities.  Anyone can practice yoga, despite their level of health.

3.  Yoga is a religion. Although yoga originated in ancient India, it is not a form of Hinduism.  In fact, yoga is practiced by people from all types of religions, including agnostics and atheists.  There certainly is a spiritual side to yoga, but you don’t have to subscribe to any particular beliefs to benefit from it.  Take what you can use from yoga and ignore the rest.  For example, if chanting “om” bothers you, simply elect to not do it.  No one is going to care.  That is the beauty of yoga.  There are so many practices and so many ways of modifying those practices that virtually anyone’s needs can be met.

Can you think of any other common misconceptions about yoga?  Please share your thoughts in the comments section below!

Source:  Yoga as Medicine: the Yogic Prescription for Health and Healing by Dr. Timothy McCall, M.D.

The post 3 Common Misconceptions about Yoga appeared first on Zen Friend.

“The first duty of love is to listen.” ~ Paul Tillich

Often, we listen to people the way we want to be listened to rather than listen to people the the way they want to be listened to.  I’ll use myself as an example.  I feel truly listened to and understood when the listener is leaning in, making eye contact, paraphrasing my words and asks me how I feel.

Knowing these qualities about myself, it’s easy for me to listen to others in this way.  However, in order to be an effective listener, I need to listen to others the way they want to be listened to.  But how do we know?

Active vs. Passive Listening
Pick up clues by paying attention to how others listen to you.  If your friend says “uh huh,” “yeah!” and ask lots of questions, he is probably an active listener.  So, do the same for him.  In contrast, if she doesn’t say much – well – keep quiet because she probably prefers passive listening.

Thinking vs. Feeling Types
Generally speaking, some people are thinking types and others are feeling types.  Notice the kinds of words used and reflect similar wording back when it’s your turn to speak.  For example, I am a feeling type and love it when people ask how I feel about something.  However, others are more uncomfortable when asked about how they feel and would rather talk about what they think about a given topic. So, if you find a person asks you what you think about something, chances are they want to be asked what they think rather than how they feel.

Non-Verbal Communication Clues
We know that 87% of communication is non-verbal.  Closely watch the other person when you’re the speaker.  Does she lean in? Does she sit back?  Does he cross his arms?  Does he seem distant?  Then, reflect what he or she did for you when it’s your turn to listen.  In my case, my instinct is to lean in and maintain eye contact because that’s what I would want in return.  However, others may feel uncomfortable or invaded with this type of listening.  So, by paying attention to the other person’s body language, you listen effectively when you mimic his or her non-verbal actions. Get it?

General Effective Listening Skills
Whether you are a feeling or thinking type, active or passive listener, there are a few universal listening skills that are a part of the art of listening.

1. Be present. When you are effectively listening, your attention is 100% focused on that person.  You are not simultaneously writing an email, thinking about what you want to eat for lunch or eavesdropping on a nearby conversation.  Presence is one of the greatest gifts you can give another.
2. Pause before replying. Let people talk things through to completion to avoid interrupting their stream of consciousness.  It’s kind and polite.  No one likes to be cut off in a conversation.
3. Avoid giving advice. One problem with advice is that it may not show faith in another to find their own solution.  Instead, consider asking gentle probing questions that mimic their speech in order to guide them toward their own answers.
4. Keep the conversation on them. People generally feel cared for and understood if you keep the conversation focused on them.  You can bring up a story of your own to illustrate a point, but bring it back to their story in terms of empathy or understanding.

We all know the Golden Rule: do unto others as you want done unto you.  But the art of listening is about the Platinum Rule:  Do unto others as others would want you to do unto them.

How do you like to be listened to?

Source:  Notes from a workshop by Barbara Whiteside on March 5, 2011 “Seeing Ourselves and Our Family Clearly: A Roadmap to Healthier Family Dynamics”

The post The Art of Listening appeared first on Zen Friend.

It’s interesting how things reappear in life exactly when you need to see them.  As I was organizing my computer yesterday (one of my favorite leisure activities – um, right) I re-discovered an email that was passed around during New Year’s 2009 about making small commitments to get some big changes in your life.

For some reason, we often think we have to make huge changes in order to be happy and generate a sense of well-being.  But the truth is, doing small things consistently has the potential bring about rapid change in your life.  When thought of in these terms it’s less overwhelming and more manageable.  Here is a motivating list of ways to take care of yourself, your outlook, your relationships and ultimately, your life.

Taking Care of You

• Drink plenty of water.
• Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper.
• Eat more fruits and vegetables and eat less that is manufactured in processing plants.
• Avoid eating food that is handed to you through a window.
• Live the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy.
• Play more games.
• Read more books than you did last year.
• Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
• Sleep for 7 hours.
• Take a 10-30 minute walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Your Outlook

• Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
• Don’t have negative thoughts of things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
• Don’t overdo. Keep your limits.
• Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
• Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
• Dream more while you are awake.
• Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
• Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind others of their past mistakes.
• Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
• Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
• No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
• Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
• Learn a new word every day.
• Smile and laugh more.
• You don’t have to win every argument.

Your Relationships

• Call your family often.
• Each day give something good to others.
• Forgive everyone for everything.
• Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
• Try to make at least three people smile each day.
• What other people think of you is none of your business.
• Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Your Life

• The worst promise you can break is one made to yourself.
• Do the right thing!
• Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
• You don’t have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.
• However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
• The best is yet to come.
• When you awake alive in the morning, thank God for it.
• Your Innermost Self is always happy. Follow it.
• No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

Keep these tips handy and review them often.  Follow them and over time, there is no doubt these small changes will accumulate into something big.

* I would love to give credit to who compiled this lovely list.  To whoever you are, thank you!

The post Make Small Commitments and Get Big Changes appeared first on Zen Friend.

“Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form of energy to another.” –Albert Einstein

Remember this scientific law from your high school physics teacher?  Little did I realize at the time that this is an important concept to consider within our bodies and our environment if we want to improve our health and well-being.  Of course, some energy conversion is out of our control, such as a plant transforming sunlight, water and air via photosynthesis.  However, there are ways we can personally manipulate and convert energy within and around ourselves in order to enhance our quality of life.

As a yogini, I will use my favorite yoga class as an example of using energy flow.  At the beginning of practice, our instructor Oscar invites us to say “om” together.  It changes the energy in the room (our environment), centering and grounding all of us though our unified deep breath and sound.  During the asanas (poses), he encourages us to envision and feel a strong line of energy in our spine.  In warrior pose, we reach out with equal strength through both arms and imagine energy shooting through our fingertips.  As we mindfully breathe during these asanas, we invite fresh prana, or life force, into our bodies and literally energize ourselves and our surroundings.

For me, this brings about deep healing and an overall sense of peace and well-being.  Now, my husband will be the first to tell you that I am a sensitive person.  But even he agrees that when he practices yoga, his awareness heightens to the flow of energy within his body and the environment.  As we bring these experiences off the mat and into the world, we are more aware of our own energy flow, the energy of others and can make mindful choices that use energy flow to enhance the quality of our lives.

Energy flow balance is a treatment that is included in many forms of complementary and alternative medicine (CAM) therapies, including meditation, chiropractic work, massage, yoga, tai chi, acupuncture, naturopathy, ayurveda, qigong, reiki and deep breathing exercises.  These different modalities focus on balancing energy flow through the body and to eliminate any obstacles that negatively impact that natural flow. By engaging in these activities, the body’s natural defenses have a greater chance of fighting off a wide range of diseases.  The secret is realizing that you are in control and can choose to point yourself in the direction of moving toward an optimal state of well-being.

On the other hand, tension stops the flow of energy and results from being out of balance.  This can be generated from things like stress, not getting enough sleep, not drinking enough water and not eating well, to name a few.  When we are worried and stressed, we send frequencies of fear and insecurity through our body. The natural reaction is to protect itself by tensing our muscles or getting sick in order to slow us down and pay attention to ourselves.

Most CAM disciplines that make use of energy flow balancing see the body and mind as supporting systems that impact the overall health of the individual.  By using energy work to restore a proper balance of energy flow, both the mind and the body are expected to respond favorably.  As the flow of energy through the body resumes, physical and emotional issues generated by the blockage of energy flow begin to subside and eventually disappear.  Keep in mind this is not a one way street – your work also positively impacts the energy of people and the environment surrounding you.

How do you use energy flow to enhance your quality of life?

The post How to Use Energy Flow to Enhance Your Quality of Life appeared first on Zen Friend.

Have you ever bumped your knee, dropped something and nicked your finger all in one day, only to discover that you are moving way too fast?  Or, have you ever had a sore throat, only to realize that it was because you weren’t expressing something verbally that you needed to say?

As I’ve become more aware of my mind/body connection over the years, I truly believe that when I get sick or hurt it does not happen by chance.  Usually, it is due to not expressing my feelings or overexerting myself in some way.  It’s almost as if I have an internal scale and it becomes off-balance when I do not listen to what my body is telling me.  For example, when I suddenly get hit with a stomachache or headache, it is an important signal to let me know I am out of balance and not paying attention to an important emotion.  The link between emotions and physical pain is very real.  So, what can you do about it?  Can pain be your friend?

When this happens, I stop what I am doing and become present to the moment.  I close my eyes and tune into my body.  Sometimes, it’s as simple as taking a break from the computer when I get a headache.  But in other instances it’s more complicated and can run much deeper, sourcing from emotional pain from the past.  A headache may develop in response to an emotion triggered hours before. Arthritis pain may stem from an emotional reaction that began decades ago. It is easy to see how the cause of a pain can be overlooked.  So you ask, “How can I figure out what’s behind my pain?”

Perhaps the best road map to the emotional roots of physical pain and illness is a book by Louise Hay entitled You Can Heal Your Life.  I’ve used this book as a tool to solve various what-does-pain-have-to-do-with-it emotional puzzles.  Louise Hay looks at all the body parts and a variety of major diseases, and gives us the emotional counterpart for each. Her insights may not cover every situation, but I’ve consistently found them to be in the ballpark.

According to Hay, the most common physical problems linked to emotional well-being are stomachache and headache, and can be caused by any kind of strain. Back pain has been attributed to a feeling of not being emotionally supported, or to feeling that you’ve lost your path or aren’t fulfilling your purpose. Knee problems can be due to fear of “stepping forward” in your life. Asthma, especially in childhood, has been linked to a feeling of smothering or too much control. Cancer is related to self-hatred, and fibromyalgia and other degenerative diseases to a deep feeling of unworthiness and abnegation of self.  Thyroid has to do with the voice, expressing yourself and feeling that you are heard.

In another more scientific example, the article,  “Does Your Heart Sense Your Emotional State?” on MSN Today Health by HeartMath explores the relationship between heart health and emotions.  Research explains how the heart responds to emotional and mental reactions and why certain emotions stress the body and drain our energy. As we experience feelings like anger, frustration, anxiety and insecurity, our heart rhythm patterns become more erratic. These erratic patterns are sent to the emotional centers in the brain, which it recognizes as negative or stressful feelings. These signals create the actual feelings we experience in the heart area and the body and can block our ability to think clearly.  If we consistently experience these emotions, it can put a strain on the heart and other organs, and eventually lead to serious health problems.

So, can pain be your friend?  In a word, yes.  It’s proven that our bodies manifest health with positive thoughts and feelings and illness with negative thoughts and feelings. Pain can truly be one of our greatest teachers about what is going on inside our hearts and minds and an important signal how to heal ourselves.  Our job is to pay attention to our body and its messages.  Tune in.  Check it out.  Explore.  Because there is a reason you are feeling the way you do and a way to feel better.

What do you think?  Have you discovered how your emotional and physical pain are linked?  How did you deal with it?

The post Can Pain Be Your Friend? The Link Between Emotions and Physical Health appeared first on Zen Friend.

What do you think of when you hear “Valentine’s Day?”  For most of us, it conjures up images of chocolate candy, red roses and a romantic, candlelit dinner with a special person.  Indeed, these are lovely things to share during this Hallmark holiday; however, not all of us have a partner or we want to try something new and different.  Valentine’s Day is about celebrating the expression of true love, whether it is to your partner, family member, friend or, most importantly, yourself.  Here are a few new ideas on how to express your love to someone special on Valentine’s Day.

At-Home Spa Treatments
Day-to-day, we work hard physically and our bodies take a toll.  Giving yourself or a special person in your life an at-home spa treatment is a wonderful way to say I love you and give some TLC to tired skin and muscles.  The following at-home spa treatment ideas are easy, inexpensive and can be created from natural items you can find in your home.

First, create a soothing, relaxing atmosphere by lighting some candles and playing some soft music in the background.  Then, give these three ideas a try.

1.  Brown Sugar Body Scrub. In a large bowl, mix 4 cups of brown sugar with enough milk to make it creamy (about 1/2 – 1 cup).  Stand in the shower or bathtub and gently scrub all over the skin, including the face if desired.  Rinse with warm water and towel dry.

2.  Strawberry, Yogurt, Egg White & Honey Facial Mask. This combination is wonderful to cleanse, exfoliate, tighten and add a soft glow to any skin type.  Combine mashed strawberries, plain yogurt, an egg white and a squeeze of honey in a small bowl to make a pasty consistency.  Spread on face and allow to dry for about 15 minutes.  Rinse with a warm water and a damp cloth.  Add your favorite moisturizer to complete the facial.

3.  Foot Massage. This type of massage can be done easily to your partner or yourself.  Use massage oil or lotion and gently dig your thumbs in a circular motion into the soles of the feet. Don’t forget the bottoms of the toes! On the other side, start at the ankle and rub your thumbs outwards across the top of the feet and down the toes. Roll the feet to stretch the ankles.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

The post Valentine’s Day: 3 New Ideas to Express Love appeared first on Zen Friend.

If you’ve ever had a massage, then you know just how relaxing and wonderful it feels to lay down and let it all go for an hour or two while the masseuse manipulates your tight muscles into sheer bliss.  The other day I felt tense and sore so I called a local spa and made an appointment for a deep tissue massage.  Now, being a relatively new resident of San Francisco (and the opposite of a creature of habit), it’s been my enjoyable second job to try new spas, yoga studios, hiking trails, restaurants and the like.  Being adventurous and trying new massages is generally fruitful and rewarding, but this time it backfired — at first — because my masseuse wouldn’t stop talking.

I arrived at the spa fifteen minutes early to enjoy some fresh cucumber lemon water and began to quiet my mind.  With a bright smile, my massage therapist “Elena” introduced herself and escorted me back to the dimly-lit treatment room that had a wonderful lavender aroma.  After the usual polite tap on the door to check in and see if I’m settled and ready for my massage, Elena asked me a few questions to see if there were any areas of my body that were particularly bothering me so she could focus her energy there.  Lovely, I thought, she is attentive! Well, she was that and then some.

As Elena began to knead my sore lower back, she simply started talking as if I was a close friend and we were out to dinner on a Friday night.  No more questions asked, just a constant, mindless stream of jabbering about her problems with her ex-boyfriend to how her car wouldn’t start the morning before.  I listened out of courtesy for the first 10 or 15 minutes, but when I checked in with myself I was clearly feeling frustrated and not enjoying this experience.  Thoughts like I paid for this massage, she’s not paying me to be her therapist! became my inner chatter, which was not why I was there.  I paid for a massage to relax, release muscle tension and promote my own inner peace.  It wasn’t happening.

When Elena instructed me to turn over, instinctively I looked into her eyes and said, “Elena, it sounds like you are going through some tough times and I wish the best for you.  However, I would prefer to enjoy some quiet time so I can truly and fully enjoy your gift of massage.  Would that be OK?”

At first she looked hurt, but then she smiled and said, “Of course. I’m sorry, I guess I have a lot of my mind.”  I told her it was not a problem, that her skills were wonderful and it really would enhance my massage experience by having complete silence for the remainder of the time.

In the end, I’m glad I spoke up. We are all in charge of our own experiences, and it is important to be mindful with ourselves and ask for what we need.  Intuitively, I could tell Elena wasn’t even aware that she was blabbing away.  I like to think by speaking my truth, it was also a small gift to her because it brought back her own self-awareness.

Elena didn’t utter a word for the remaining 45 minutes and I gave her a nice tip.  Gratefully, I ended up with the blissful massage I expected and left feeling flexible, relaxed and rejuvenated. Enough said!

The post What to Do When Your Massage Therapist Won’t Stop Talking appeared first on Zen Friend.

It’s no secret that our lives are hectic.  There are so many things to do, all the time.  Work, errands, social engagements, exercise, cooking, taking care of loved ones – it’s no wonder that our minds spiral out of control at times and we lose the sensation of happiness and contentment. However, there is a secret to obtaining inner peace despite the busy and chaotic nature of our lives.

By definition, inner peace is state of being mentally and spiritually at peace, with enough knowledge and understanding to keep oneself strong in the face of discord or stress.  Main causes of stress often arise from financial problems, issues in the workplace, personal relationships and health problems.  However, the root of the stress stems from the perception or attitude in our minds toward a circumstance, not the circumstance itself.  This is a powerful concept because whether the issue is caused from internal or external factors, as human individuals we have complete control about how we think about and act in relation to situations in our lives.

As Brian Tracy notes, we can only hold one conscious thought in our mind at a time, either positive or negative.  And, we are happy to the exact degree to which we feel in control of our lives.  The less control we perceive we have, the less happiness we feel.  Therefore, if we have control over our thoughts and can only hold one thought in our mind at a time, the secret to obtaining inner peace is to choose to think about things in a positive, productive way. So, you might be thinking, how do I achieve this?

How to Think Positive Thoughts

Both external and internal factors cause us stress.  In either case, we internalize the issue by worrying and we are in a state of unrest. In order to manifest inner peace in your life, you must first disassociate yourself from the issue and separate your thoughts from your reality.

1.  Write a list of all the internal and external factors that worry you to literally get them “out” of your mind and onto paper.

2.  Then, take each item one by one and ask yourself questions such as, “Why does this issue bother me?  What am I afraid of?”

3.  Next, after you’ve identified and written down these answers, ask yourself, “What is the worst case scenario if this fear were to become a reality?”  If there are still more fears, ask yourself again, “Then what would I do about it?”  Through this process, most likely you will find that you will be able to deal with the worst case scenario in some way.

4.  Create an action plan to take control over the thoughts causing you stress.  Choose to replace the negative with positive thoughts about the person or situation.  Write down goals and affirmations about things you want to manifest into your life.  Tape them to your bathroom mirror so you can see them every day.  Read the goals out loud to yourself and visualize them as if they were already true.  By focusing on the positive, reading your goals and visualizing them, you will be surprised just how quickly your attitude changes.

5.  Do what makes you happy.  Whether it is taking a nature walk, reading a book, taking a bath with aromatherapy candles or simply having a dinner with your best friend, consciously choose to engage with people and activities that generate happiness for you to promote a feeling of inner peace.

Life will continue to throw curve balls your way.  Your kid will throw a tantrum, you’ll make a mistake at work or you’ll get into a fight with your partner.  However, it’s all about how you manage your thoughts after the situation occurs.  You get to choose how you think about and react to each situation.  Inner peace is a choice – a choice that only you can control.

What do you think? What brings you inner peace?

The post The Secret to Obtain Inner Peace appeared first on Zen Friend.

What does practicing yoga, indulging in spa treatments and tweeting all have in common?  Presence. Being present means that you are focusing on what is happening in that exact moment – in the now.   A connection between the three came to me yesterday as I pondered my love of them.  Allow me to explain.

Yoga is about connecting our mind, body and spirit.  As we practice yoga poses, or asanas, we focus on our breath and movement, all the while gently turning down the volume of our thoughts and becoming more present to how it feels to be in our body at that moment.  Similarly, while relaxing on a massage table, we surrender to and focus on the blissful feeling of the masseuse’s hands kneading our tight muscles towards relaxation. Eyes are closed, the breath slows down and the feeling is so lovely that it’s hard not to engage in the present moment.  Somehow, our hectic thoughts — poof — disappear.

In the social media world, Twitter asks us to share “What’s happening?” That question prompts us to answer what is happening now.  Not tomorrow, not yesterday, not even five minutes ago.  Twitter is about sharing what’s happening for us in that exact moment.  For example, if I am currently reading a stellar blog post or article that I feel is worthwhile to share with my followers, I tweet about it at that exact moment. That’s pretty zen if you ask me.

Zen masters use the word satori to describe a flash of insight, a moment of no-mind and total presence. Have you ever gazed up into the infinity of space on a clear night, awestruck by the  by the absolute stillness and inconceivable vastness of it?  Have you listened, truly listened, to the sound of a mountain stream in the forest?  To become aware of such things, our minds needs to be still.  Without realizing it, you’ve become completely present.  Certainly, we can access this while experiencing nature but we also have the innate ability to access satori in our daily lives.

There are many benefits of living in the now.  The practice of being present can increase efficiency, strengthen relationships, decrease stress and promote inner peace.  Focusing on one task at a time will allow you to listen and engage with others with a steady and clear mind.  By not zoning out (as we all tend to do from time to time), your brain will quickly process information and drive creativity.  It will also help you build more meaningful relationships with others.  In general, people who are living in the moment will easily pick up on whether you are being present or not.  That alone is a reason to be more present.

The irony about understanding presence is you can’t think about it; it is being present.  Just like when we practice yoga and meditation, thoughts inevitably creep into our minds.  As soon as they do, instantly we are not present anymore.  But it isn’t about reprimanding ourselves when this happens.  Rather, simply notice your lack of presence and bring yourself back to what is happening…right…now.

The best part is we get to choose whether or not we are present with what we are doing.  Practice being present in your daily life, whether it’s folding the laundry, reading a book to a child or writing a presentation.  You might find that you enjoy the now more than you thought.

Yoga, spa and Twitter are just a few examples of how to live in the present.  What tends to bring you into the present moment?

The post Presence is Yoga, Spa and Twitter appeared first on Zen Friend.

Have you ever had the feeling that your thoughts and surroundings take control over you?  Sometimes when we are busy and life is moving quicker than we can keep up with, it is challenging to get grounded and bring ourselves back into the present moment.  After all, “the now” is all we really have.  With each yoga and meditation practice in my life, I am becoming more and more aware of the importance of getting grounded.  Here are 5 ways I use to get grounded.

1.  Stop and Observe. There is no argument that our mind and body are connected.  Tune into your body at different times throughout the day and simply take notice of what is going on inside, without judgment or trying to “find” a way to change your current state of being.  Just notice your thoughts and feelings and accept them for what they are.

2.  Take a Few Deep Breaths and Visualize. After you notice that perhaps your mind is racing or you feel anxious, simply take a couple of deep breaths, filling and emptying your lungs completely.  Close your eyes if that feels good.  Continue to notice your mind/body sensations and visualize yourself as calmer and more grounded.

3.  Walk on the Ground Outside. Many of us spend our time inside (especially during winter) and/or on the upper floor of a building.  For example, my apartment in San Francisco is on the 4th floor and if I don’t consciously walk downstairs and physically connect with the Earth, sometimes it’s hard for me to get grounded.  So, when I have rampant thoughts or a feeling of being unsettled, I take a walk outside in Golden Gate Park and feel the Earth beneath my feet.  This instantly grounds me as I physically place my feet outdoors.

4.  Practice Yoga. The act of practicing yoga allows us to become more grounded.  Try a few sun salutations that connect us to the sky, then fold in half and place your hands on the floor, imagining yourself connected to the Earth.  Visualize these opposites as you close your eyes and practice.  Through yoga asanas, or poses, we instantly become connected to the Earth.  You don’t need to necessarily practice for an hour to feel these effects; try it for 5 minutes and see if you don’t feel more grounded.

5.  Write Affirmations. The daily practice of writing affirmations, especially in the morning, imprints into our subconscious what we want to manifest into our life.  For example, I write daily affirmations as I drink my cappuccino each morning to the point where it’s part of my daily routine.  Usually I write somewhere between 10 – 20 positive “I” statements for the day, and one of the mainstays is “I am grounded.”  By writing this positive thought daily into my journal, I find during the remainder of the day I am more grounded than when I don’t write my affirmations.

The benefits of feeling grounded are enormous.  I find that I tend to feel calmer and more centered, act in a proactive and not a reactive fashion throughout my day, and generally have an overall sense of well-being.  Life inevitably throws curve balls our way that will throw us off-balance, but if we can be self-aware enough to remember to stop, notice, take a few deep breaths, and feel our feet on the ground – in just 30 seconds it is possible to feel more grounded and at peace about what is.

What about you?  What do you do to become more grounded?

The post 5 Ways to Get Grounded appeared first on Zen Friend.

Did you know that yoga is the fastest growing sport in America?  14.5 million Americans practice yoga, the same size as Illinois, the fifth largest state in the nation.  “The Business of Yoga” seminar was put on by Yoga Journal Magazine January 13-14 in San Francisco, California.  Two days of inspiring and motivational sessions covered topics such as the staggering growth of yoga in America, ways to create a viable studio, hiring and managing teachers, marketing with mindfulness, green concepts, legal issues and money matters.  The following tips were my biggest takeaways on how to run a successful yoga business.

1.  A Fantastic Website is a Must. Most people will learn about you via the internet.  Make it easy and provide clean, clear and updated information that is easy to navigate and understand.  People should land on your site and not want to click away.  Not only should your website have a great look and feel that reflects your brand image, also it should offer compelling reasons someone should show up at one of your yoga classes.  “Call to Action” items are crucial, such as opt-in newsletter subscription and the ability to sign up for a future class or workshop.  In addition, tell us something about you personally and what makes your place unique.

2.  Trademark Your Name. Chances are you spent a lot of time brainstorming and finally choosing the ideal name for your business.  This is your image, your blood sweat and tears specific to your brand.  If your studio is successful, someone else will catch on and copy you.  Perhaps if you don’t trademark your name, someone else will legally use it.  Hire a lawyer and get your trademark on.

3.  Set Goals, Create Actions and Get Results. A great studio, or any business for that matter, doesn’t lift off the ground without a solid plan in place.  Every day there are a ton of things to do.  Prioritize and complete the urgent and important items first.  However, these projects will dominate your day unless you break its cycle.  Secondary to do items, such as marketing, are extremely important to the success of your business.  So, make sure to schedule at least one of these items daily and stay on track with your overall goals.  Next, turn goals into action by writing them down in specific, realistic and measurable terms.  Finally, measure your results using Key Performance Indicators (KPI) such as revenue, attendance and client retention.  This way, you can compare against your budget or last year’s performance and measure your results.

4.  Add Value. Always, always add value to whatever it is you are offering.  Make people feel like they are getting their money’s worth and then some.  For example, add educational content to your website, such as videos and a blog, give a complimentary introductory class or perhaps on Tuesdays offer a cup of tea after practice as a special, unexpected treat.  People will remember.

5.  Recruit, Manage and Inspire Teachers. If you are a yoga teacher, you are a step ahead of the game.  Either way, you must consider some important items when you employ teachers.  What type of yoga classes do you want to offer?  Who is your demographic?  Why would someone want to take that teacher’s yoga class?  What is going to keep the good teachers?  Make sure you pay them well and create an environment of truth and openness with one another.  After all, this is the yoga industry.  Whatever route you choose, make sure you can answer these questions and the particular styles of yoga you offer resonate with you personally.

6.  Create Solid P&L, Cash Flow and Balance Sheets.  You only know if you are creating a viable studio if you consider and model out the numbers.  You need to know your total income and direct/indirect expenses to understand your net operating income (NOI).  Be sure to not only create these documents to begin with, but to use them throughout the life of your business as working excel spreadsheets.  Add, remove and correct line items as you learn from your mistakes.  This way, at a glance you always know the financial state of your business.  Financing your studio can be a difficult task.  If you need funding and can’t get an investor to put money into your business, neither should you.

7.  In Marketing, Social Media Rules. Facebook, Twitter, Groupon, Yelp, TripAdvisor…these are a few key ways to market your brand and your business of yoga online.  If you are not already involved in these channels, find someone who is experienced, get some pointers, then get started.  Millions of people are going to the web to find advice, information and ultimately make their buying decisions.  Furthermore, make sure your brand is clear and consistent across the media channels.  Don’t just promote yourself; create compelling content and share it with your audience.  No one likes to be “sold” on anything.  They want to be enticed, interested and engaged.

8.  Join the Green Yoga Association. It’s important (and free).  Yoga helps us recognize that we are made from the planet, and to take care of our planet is to take care of ourselves.  Regular practice creates a body-mind relationship which brings forth energy and effectiveness to the way we address important ecological issues.  Community (sangha) is an important element of yoga, and there are many ways we can green our yoga studios, both physically and through asanas.  Many yogis are filled with positive intentions for a sustainable lifestyle and are looking for support to bring them into action.  Find a way that resonates with your community to act more mindfully.

9.  Collaborate, Don’t Compete. A yogic approach should be taken in running a successful yoga studio.  There are people who need your place just as much as you need them.  Trust that what you are offering, as long as it’s in your highest truth, is acceptable just the way it is.  Sure, someone could open up a studio across the street.  You can’t worry about the things you can’t control.  So, find a way to adjust to the current surroundings that are always changing and growing.

10.  Be Authentic. Each of us have a special purpose here in life.  Our dharma is a divine duty, a celebration of our unique selves and a way that we are of service on our planet.  Find your authentic voice, your unique essence and the gifts you bring and embody it in your business exactly the way that is true for you.  You will create magic within yourself and for others by listening and following your authentic self.

For more information on the speakers and how to contact them, read my past blog post “The Business of Yoga: Yoga Journal Conference” overview.

What do you think?  Any thoughts you would like to share on the business of yoga?

The post 10 Tips on How to Run a Successful Yoga Business appeared first on Zen Friend.

After three weeks of travel, it’s magic to be back home in San Francisco.  Today, the sun was shining as I rode my cherry red scooter to my favorite yoga class, feeling the crisp air and joy of being both physically and spiritually back home.  The class was packed with students and I smelled a little BO.  Not cool.  I unrolled my mat, sat down in half lotus position with my hands in my lap and began breathing.  This, I thought, is true mind over matter if I can meditate while smelling BO! Alas, people are people. The class began and my thoughts and worries quietly drifted to the back of my consciousness.  Halfway through, we practiced one of my favorites: uddiyana bandha.

What is Uddiyana Bandha?

Uddiyanda bandha (pronounced oo-dee-ahn-dah bahn-dah) is an asana and pranayama practice.  In Sanskrit, uddiyana literally means “flying up” and bandha means “lock.”  In this movement, the second of the three interior body “locks” are used to control the flow of energy inside the body with some amazingly beneficial effects.

How to Practice Uddiyana Bandha
Important note: Before you begin practicing uddiyana bandha, make sure you have an empty stomach.

1.  Stand straight with your legs a little wider than hip distance apart and your feet angled out about 45 degrees. Place your hands comfortably on your thighs.  Take a few breaths in this position.

2. Inhale deeply through your nose.  Then, simultaneously exhale completely and forcefully through your mouth as you bend your knees and bend forward at your hips so your head is pointing toward the ground and your hands are on your knees, your elbows pointed toward the ceiling.

3. Keep the air out, but pull your belly up towards your ribcage.  Straighten your arms and keep looking straight down. There should be no wrinkles on the back of your neck.

4.  Straighten your legs, place your hands back on your thighs, gently release your belly, then inhale deeply through your nose.  This should be your first inhale since step 2.  Then, slowly exhale through your nose.

5.  Repeat twice for a total of three times.  Notice how your body feels.

The Benefits of Uddiyana Bandha

Uddiyana bandha tones, massages and cleans the abdominal and digestive organs. In addition, it stimulates blood circulation in the abdomen and blood flow to the brain. Practicing this special asana/pranayama stimulates and lifts the energy of the lower belly and unites it with the energies in the navel and heart chakras.  This releases toxins and creates cleaner lines of energy in the body.

I’ve practiced uddiyana bandha at least a dozen times now and always felt amazing afterward, but I was never sure why until asking my instructor about its inner workings today.  Give it a try.  But if it’s your first time, try to practice somewhere that smells nice.

The post How to Practice Uddiyana Bandha appeared first on Zen Friend.

Yesterday I was a slave to my computer.  Not in a bad way.  In fact, my words and ideas were flowing as the rain poured down outside my hotel room window in downtown Los Angeles.  It felt good to start the new year feeling motivated on a Sunday to get some things done.   There was a mirror on the wall across from the desk and I made eye contact with myself.  Wow, I thought, I need to stretch.

One of my New Year’s Affirmations is to stretch every single day.  Some days I have the time and space to practice at home or a yoga studio, but on the days I don’t I often find myself seated with my silver laptop for ample periods of time.  It had been five days since the bliss of stretching and lengthening my muscles during a proper yoga class and I could really feel my shoulders, neck and back tense and rigid.  This hotel desk chair isn’t exactly ergonomic.

Desk Yoga:  How to Take a 3 Minute Break

1.  Remember that your body needs to stretch and that you will feel calmer, more grounded and peaceful after breaking away with a few minutes of your time.

2. Roll away from your desk remaining seated in your chair.  Sit with your spine erect and place your hands on your knees.

3. Close your eyes and drink in a few deep breaths of air.  Fill and empty your lungs completely.  Quiet your mind by imagining your thoughts in balloons, slowly drifting towards the back of your consciousness, fading away.

4. Feel your shoulders relax and notice your feet grounded on the floor.

5.  Reach out laterally with your arms parallel to the floor, gently pulling your shoulders away from your ears.  Feel a line of energy reaching through your fingertips.  Take a few deep breaths.

6.  Next, reach up with your arms alongside your ears, straight and perpendicular to the floor.  Look up if that feels good.  Take a couple of breaths.

7.  Interlace your fingers, turn your palms toward the ceiling and lean to your left.  Hold for a few moments.  Come back to center, then laterally stretch to the right.  Keep your head in alignment between your arms.

8.  Next, hook your left inside elbow over the back of your chair, place your right hand on your left knee and gently twist to the left.  Your neck and head should be the last to turn.  Breathe.  Continue a fluid movement and repeat on the right side.

9.  Lastly, bring your body forward to lay your chest on your knees, feet still flat on the floor.  Place your hands alongside your feet and straighten your arms.  Look down at your toes so there are no wrinkles in the back of your neck.  Breathe.

10.  Interlace your fingers behind your back, gently pull your shoulder blades together and reach toward the ceiling.   Let your neck relax and breathe.  Return to your seated position and smile.

Many of us spend long stretches (no pun intended) of time at a desk or computer, but just three minutes of desk yoga can help relieve stress, calm the mind and get blood and energy flowing more efficiently in the body.  Plus, the mental break also makes room for creativity to return.  It doesn’t necessarily need to be pain to obtain motivation to stretch.  Sometimes headaches and writer’s block are also clues the body gives to tell you to take a break.  Give it a try and please share your thoughts with a comment below.  Happy Desk Yoga-ing! 

The post Desk Yoga: How to Take a 3 Minute Break appeared first on Zen Friend.

Are you looking to start a yoga business or interested in learning more about the business of yoga?  The Yoga Journal Conference is being held at the Hyatt Regency, San Francisco from January 13 – 17, 2011.  A couple of weeks ago I signed up for the Business of Yoga sessions (January 13 – 14) so I could learn more about best practices in the yoga industry.

The following courses sound particularly interesting, taught by influential and knowledgeable people in the industry about the business of yoga.  I’m planning to attend the following seminars.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 13

1.  Growth of Yoga - Bill Harper, the publisher of Yoga Journal and Vegetarian Times, looks at some of the trends of the growth of yoga in America.

2.  Yoga Studio 101 - Taught by Laughing Lotus founders from New York City (Dana Flynn) and San Francisco (Jasmine Tarkeshi), here we will discover how to stay devoted to yoga’s highest teachings of freedom, union, and inner peace throughout the highs and lows of great joys and difficulties.

3.  Creating a Viable Studio – Learn how to use high-level strategic planning to create an annual budget and identify simple metrics to gauge the health of your business. This session is taught by Meg McCall who is the Director of Marketing at MINDBODY, a company that offers web-based business management software tailored to businesses that need scheduling and business management systems.

4.  Marketing with Mindfulness: Practical Ways to Promote Your Business without Hype, Hysteria, or Headache – In this lively and participatory workshop, Keith Bailey, the cofounder of Yoga My Business and Sterling Consulting Group, will share innovative and inexpensive ways to get new clients through your door — and grow your bottom line.

5.  Legal Issues Underlying Yoga Studio Creation and Management – Opening and running a yoga studio requires sound legal preparation. In this informative class, we’ll discuss how to form business entities; contract with teachers, employees, students, web/ad consultants, business partners, and landlords; comply with labor, workers compensation, taxes, and consumer protection agencies; obtain insurance; and protect trademarks and trade secrets.  It will be taught by Ann & Ron Welkers, partners in YogaBalance Yoga Studio in Manchester, NH.  YogaBalance on Twitter.

FRIDAY, JANUARY 14

6.  Recruiting Teachers – Taught by Kathleen Holm, the general manager of Yoga Tree San Francisco, will help us to discover how to recruit, manage, and inspire teachers. We’ll also learn how to find promising teachers, help them develop skills that will assist them in cultivating more students, and take their skills to the next level. Yoga Tree on Twitter

7.  Money Matters – Gain an understanding of your relationship with money; set up salaries and retirement accounts to secure your future; and learn to carry out sound business practices.  This class is taught by Brent Kessel, the president and co-founder of Abacus Wealth Partners, an independent wealth management firm specializing in sustainable investing.

8.  Online Marketing – Learn general web-design practices to help your business website give your clients a clear and compelling message. Finally, learn how online advertising works, and how you can use it to make your business stand out from the rest. The class is taught by Roxanne Banta who directs MINDBODY University business intensives, presents business growth strategies at various trade shows, and teaches yoga classes at the MINDBODY office.

9.  Utilizing Social Networking – Taught by Eric Kipp, the founder and director of Hiking Yoga, we will learn ways to leverage Facebook, Twitter, TripAdvisor, Yelp and Groupon to build your community and business exponentially faster.

10.  Greening Your Yoga Studio – Taught by yogi David Lurey, we’ll look at key strategies, insights, and organizing principles gathered from David’s experience managing a green studio in San Francisco and helping to launch the Green Yoga Studios Program in 2004.

In addition to the Business of Yoga Seminars, there are plenty of complimentary events going on during the conference week, such as meditation, kirtan, acroyoga and an evening with Elizabeth Gilbert, the author of Eat, Pray, Love.

Contact me on twitter @TheZenGirl if you want to tweetup!  Namaste.

The post The Business of Yoga appeared first on Zen Friend.

It’s almost 2011 and everyone is talking about New Year’s Resolutions.  For each of us, 2010 represented a variety experiences and ways of being.  Some things we like about ourselves, but typically there is something we want to improve upon.  So, we look to the next year as a fresh start, a time to bring in a new habit pattern and make it stick.  Sometimes it does, but often it doesn’t.  Visit a gym the first week in January, then again in April.  You’ll find in January it’s packed but after a few months pass, invariably those New Year’s Resolutions about going to the gym fade away and life goes back to the way it was in 2010.  Why is that?

For years I’ve used affirmations instead of resolutions and they work.  You may be wondering, what exactly is an affirmation? It’s a phrase written in the positive present tense combined with visualization as if you already had what you want.  For example, “I am confident” or “I am healthy” or “I am a non-smoker” are wonderful affirmations because they are written as an “I” statement in a positive, present tense as if they were already true.  Even though these things may not be actually what you feel, upon hearing these words your subconscious mind (which is very literal) cannot distinguish between what’s true and false.  The opposite is also the case.  For example, if you are repeating negative thoughts in your mind “This is so difficult” or “I can’t do it” or “I’m not good enough” or “I am fat,” your subconscious mind will go to work to bring about whatever it is that you say to yourself, whether positive or negative, true or untrue.

On the other hand, resolutions are often a phrase such as “I want to lose more weight” without being specific about how much weight, or details about how it’s going to happen.  Often we say our resolutions over the course of a week around the turn of the year, then the resolution ceases and we go back to our original habit patterns.  Furthermore, when you say to yourself “I want” something, your subconscious mind considers it as only a wish and does not have the same effect that an affirmation does.

So, my challenge to you is to think about your New Year’s Resolution in the form ongoing positive affirmations throughout the year.  For example, if your New Year’s Resolution is to lose weight, create some positive affirmations that support weight loss.  If you want to lose 20 pounds and you now weigh 175 pounds, you could affirm “I weigh 155 pounds.”  It’s even more beneficial if you supplement it with affirmations such as “I enjoy eating healthy foods” or “I can sense when I am full and I stop eating” or “I enjoy walking two miles three times per week”  That way, your subconscious goes to work bringing about motivations for these to be true in your life, sometimes in ways you never thought of.  In addition, try to visualize the positive thoughts as you think about and write them down as if it’s already happening, and believe that it is true.  You will be surprised how quickly you bring about true change in your life using the power of affirmations.  And, the more you write it down, think about and visualize your desires, the faster it will bring about change.  You can have dozens of affirmations, short or long-term.  Make one of your affirmations to write affirmations daily in a journal.  This will bring about true, lasting change in your life.

As Napoleon Hill once said, “We become what think about.”  Remember that your conscious mind can only hold one thought at a time, whether it is positive or negative.  You get to make the choice what you think about.  Because whatever you believe, with feeling, becomes your reality.  The beginning of 2011 is the perfect time to start.

The post New Year's Affirmations Instead of Resolutions appeared first on Zen Friend.

What things in life are you attached to?  Perhaps your home, your partner or your favorite food?  We become attached to someone or something present in our lives because it serves us in some way.  It feels good when we have it.  We miss it when it’s gone.  We think about it when it’s not there.  It becomes part of our identity and deep down, we fear we wouldn’t be complete without it in our lives.  However, attachment can be dangerous when our happiness depends on the state or existence of an external factor because it is out of our control.

I admit that I am completely attached to my favorite yoga class. Yesterday, overwhelming sadness tugged at my heart while I practiced in this particular studio for the last time until mid-January.  The energy cultivated inside the studio regularly grounds and calms me as well as brings immense joy and inner peace to my body and mind.  Our yoga instructor, Oscar, has a magical way that he brings us all together to feel as one during our practice.  He gently thanks us for being there and invites us to spend the next hour completely with ourselves; to let the thoughts and anxieties fade to the back of our minds and simply be present.  An inward smile is my automatic response to his words.  When he asks us to imagine our thoughts like balloons, slowly drifting into the back of our consciousness, they do with ease.  Together, we honor each person in the room to share our practice and we are gently reminded that this is not a competition; rather, it is our own personal journey and not to worry about anyone else but ourselves.  Thus, I feel a great sense of support and comfort, and I easily give myself permission to silence my inner critic.  Every pose, on each side, on every day of practice is different — and it is absolutely ok – just the way it is.

Clearly, something magical created in that class.  But with the recent realization of my attachment, it makes me dig deeper and I discover something interesting.  I am not necessarily attached to the class and the yoga instructor.  Rather, I am attached to the feeling elicited within me of non-judgment, support and acceptance during practice.  When I think about it in this way, I realize I am the one in control.  It’s almost as if Oscar and the other yogis are a catalyst for what I truly cultivate within myself.   With this realization I am back in control of my attitude and feelings.  Suddenly I know that I don’t need the class, I just need to continue the practice within myself!  Bam: motivation is there.

In a way, non-attachment is a mindful action that pulls us away, almost above a situation, person or thing and feel love toward it but not a neediness to satisfy our ego’s desires.  Here, we are still 100% involved but not attached to a particular outcome.  An important key to remember is that attachment is only an illusion.  Now that I know what it takes to get to my “happy place,” I commit to doing it on my own for the next three weeks.  I could use some of the phrases and terminology that make me feel so delightful.  Things get hectic during the holidays but I can always find 20 minutes to peace out.

Only time will tell how the next few weeks go.  I am human and am bound to feel the pangs of attachment rather than the empowerment and contentment of non-attachment.  For example, when I think about class right now, I miss it.  Clearly I am still attached.  But that’s ok – I am aware of this fact, accept it as being true for myself and then just as quickly I move on.

With a plan in place for how I am going to handle missing my yoga groove, I am not dreading being away any longer.  Instead, I am curious to find out what tools speak to me during the moments of my solo practice, what I remember and what asanas, pranyama or meditation serve me in that moment.  Just thinking about it feels like freedom and a sense of being in control.  And that makes me happy.

The post A Yogini’s Lesson in Non- Attachment appeared first on Zen Friend.

It seems like flash mobs are all the rage lately.  A couple of Saturdays ago I took my chocolate Labrador on a walk on Irving Street and saw a bunch of people dressed in Santa costumes.  This wasn’t particularly strange, seeing that it’s December and I do live in a city where it’s common for people to dress up and be silly on a regular basis.  But, I had heard rumors of something called SantaCon earlier that day and I was curious to know more.

My dog Emma was fond of a girl dressed in a Santa outfit with a short skirt and charged between her legs.  Thankfully she was also fond of Labradors (or just tipsy, I am not sure) and we had a good laugh.   She described their attendance at SantaCon, but it was not at all like the mental picture I had of thousands of Santas sitting in trade show booths at the San Francisco Convention Center.  The SantaCon incorporates part of the Flash Mob phenomena: a term used to describe a large group gathering in open public space for a short period of time performing a dance routine or entertaining the public in some way.  She explained tweets via Twitter were sent out with multiple times and locations for the group to meet and mob various bars, restaurants and parks in San Francisco.  Later I discovered SantaCon isn’t unique to SF – it’s going on throughout the month of December at 179 locations in 24 countries around the world!

What fun, I thought, I would love to be a part of a flash mob. There’s something exciting about shocking and pleasantly surprising the general public.  My affirmation manifested a week later when I was invited to flash mob a theater and sing a holiday tune with 40 other members of the San Francisco Choral Society.  Last night it was on. Quietly, we blended into the lobby and aisles during intermission at the popular play A Christmas Carol at the downtown American Conservatory Theater.  Our conductor slyly gave us hand signals from the mezzanine and 3 minutes before the second act was to start at once we all broke into a beautiful 4-part a cappella song Carols Around.  As I looked around, at first the crowd gasped in shock, but then their faces broke into warm smiles.  Families and couples held hands.  We were making them happy, which in turn was making me happy.  The crowd thundered applause and we walked out, never to be seen again.

My favorite thing about flash mobs is when a public group is caught by surprise they are instantly pulled into the present moment.  Spontaneous synergy is created and later, people feel special that they were witness to something so unique and unexpected. It creates joy, wonderful memories and positive vibes.

Yup, this was my first participation in a flash mob but it certainly won’t be the last.  However, chances are slim that you’ll be seeing me in a Santa outfit.

The post Flash Mobs Bring Presence and Joy appeared first on Zen Friend.

I’ve practiced yoga for almost 10 years and today was only the second time I have tried peacock pose.  Because the sky was threatening rain, I took the train instead of riding my cherry red scooter to one of my favorite yoga classes in the Castro district of San Francisco.  There is nothing worse than being on the scooter when the roads get slick – it makes me nervous!

It was nice to feel connected and grounded again with myself after a long social weekend hosting visitors.  But something strange happened mid-way through my yoga practice.  My stomach started to bark at me and I felt nauseous.  What is this about? I wondered.  Like usual, when a thought pops into my head during yoga I breathe and try to let it fade into the background aiming to become present once again in my body.  Soon after, Oscar announced the next pose was going to be peacock pose – not my teacher’s favorite, but a good one for digestion.  Interesting timing, I thought (darn another thought), perhaps this will help.  I opened my eyes to watch his instruction because I couldn’t remember the pose.  When I lifted my toes off the ground, my arms started shaking as I focused my weight away from my gut resting on my elbows.  I breathed deeper, trying to find the place of stillness in peacock pose.

Relief washed over me as we sat back on our heels to let the asana sink in for a few moments.  I brought my attention back to my stomach area in to check in.  The nausea was gone!  I smiled inwardly and said a silent thank you. To me, it honestly felt like my energy shifted and balanced my digestive system.  Whether or not it’s true that peacock pose was in fact exactly what made me feel better, it really doesn’t make any difference.  The result is what matters.

A bounce sneaked into my step as I walked out onto the busy sidewalk of this prideful district.  The skies had grown darker, but my mood was lighter.  I turned up a Holy Ghost! remix on my headphones and felt like a peacock with its iridescent feathers fanned out wide as I walked back toward the N train stop, proud and beautiful, even without my cherry red scooter.

The post Peacock Pose Without My Cherry Red Scooter appeared first on Zen Friend.

What image comes to mind when you think of meditation?  Perhaps a gentle old man sitting quietly on an ancient Asian mountaintop?  Meditation practice originated centuries ago in the Far East but has become more mainstream in Western culture.  Today, millions of people all over the world practice meditation to relieve a variety of problems in their personal lives and promote a general sense of well-being.

Practicing meditation requires us to dip below our “surface” thoughts and into the realm of the subconscious. Meditation is focusing on the space between your thoughts.  Much like a computer that needs to be defragmented on a regular basis in order to run at its optimal level, meditation is a wonderful tool that gives us a chance to recalibrate our mind, body and spirit.  In effect, meditation helps us to realize our full potential and success as human beings.

There is no right or wrong way to meditate, but there are ways to meditate effectively.

1.  Open Your Mind
One of the most important steps to meditate effectively is to keep an open mind.  Every person is unique, and so is each meditation experience.  Try not to judge or criticize yourself and be open to whatever experience comes your way.  You might be pleasantly surprised.

2.  Set Aside a Quiet Time and Place
It is crucial to set aside a quiet time and place in preparation for meditation.  Schedule the time on your calendar and treat it like and important meeting you would not want to miss.  Turn off your phone and communicate to family members or housemates to give you interrupted time for yourself for at least 20-30 minutes.  One of the best times to meditate is first thing in the morning because this is when the subconscious mind is the most impressionable and you will most likely start your day with positive thoughts.  However, If you suffer from insomnia or thrive later in the day, an evening practice might be best for you.

3.  Sit in a Comfortable Position
Your body’s posture during meditation is also important. The ideal posture is a comfortable sitting position, legs crossed, with your spine straight and erect. If you are not able to cross your legs, simply sit in the most comfortable position that is true for your body on that day.  Be sure you can sit in that particular position for a long time period and try not to lay down, as often it’s easy to fall asleep.

4.  Do a Short Breathing Exercise
Sometimes it may be effective to practice pranayama, or conscious breathing, for 5 minutes to calm your thoughts and prepare your mind and body for meditation.  One effective pranayama exercise is alternate nostril breathing.  Close one nostril with your fingers, exhale completely then inhale completely.  Close the other nostril and repeat.  Once you become comfortable, see if you can slow down your breathing, inhale for 5 counts and exhale for 10 counts.  This brings awareness and leads to a singular point of focus that is important as the next step in how to meditate effectively.

5.  Create a Point of Focus
Our minds are chock full of thoughts, worries, fears and desires.  Meditation is focusing on the quiet space between thoughts in order to recalibrate and balance ourselves.  Focus on your breath, an object like a candle flame, and/or a mantra.  A mantra is especially effective in replacing any thought that re-enters your mind and a gentle way to bring yourself back to that “space.”  It can be a non-verbal om or any other combination of rich vowels that feels comfortable to you.   When we practice meditation regularly using the same mantra, soon we train our mind to associate the word(s) with a calm meditative state. By extension, this makes our mantra a very powerful tool to deal with stressful situations in our life as a result of a regular meditation practice.

6.  Accept Yourself
It’s no secret that it’s not easy to meditate or more people would be doing it.  Like most things practice makes it easier, but our minds will inevitably wander.  Try not to be hard on yourself.  Simply accept it and return to your point of focus each time it happens and move on.

7.  Enjoy the Benefits of Meditation
Not only does meditation rejuvenate the body and promote inner peace, it also can be a source of inspiration.  Most humans use only a very small percentage of our brains. This approximate 5% is controlled by our physical selves and our ego. The remaining 95% of our intelligence resides in our subconscious mind, where the most powerful ideas and best solutions to our problems lie.  The power of our subconscious mind is one which many past leaders have tapped into, such as Thomas Edison, Buddha, Jesus, Confucius and Einstein, to name a few.

At first the benefits of meditation may seem small, but using these effective techniques on how to meditate are very powerful. Over time you might just feel like the peaceful, enlightened man (or woman) on the mountaintop.

The post How to Meditate Effectively appeared first on Zen Friend.

What is zen, really?  You probably know that it originated centuries ago somewhere in Asia and has something to do with enlightenment.  That’s true.  But according to the Urban Dictionary, a modern way to think of zen is this:  a total state of focus that incorporates a total togetherness of body and mind. The feeling of zen is a quiet, inner peace that comes from being aware and accepting the various working parts within ourselves.

This is the beginning of a blog where the connection between your mind, body and spirit matters, open discussion is welcome and quality counts.  We hope to provide you with valuable information and insight to help you discover happiness and fulfillment in your own journey towards personal growth and modern day enlightenment.

The post The Meaning of Zen appeared first on Zen Friend.