“The first duty of love is to listen.” ~ Paul Tillich

Often, we listen to people the way we want to be listened to rather than listen to people the the way they want to be listened to.  I’ll use myself as an example.  I feel truly listened to and understood when the listener is leaning in, making eye contact, paraphrasing my words and asks me how I feel.

Knowing these qualities about myself, it’s easy for me to listen to others in this way.  However, in order to be an effective listener, I need to listen to others the way they want to be listened to.  But how do we know? (more…)